Friday, November 5, 2010

I'm so excited

Today is my official weigh in day and as of this morning my weight was 222 lbs which means I lost 2.4 lbs since last week for a total of 25 lbs.  Now if that wasn't enough to be excited over I decided to weigh again before I jumped in the shower alittle while ago and of course I was naked but the scale read 219.8 lbs.  I am so happy right now that the scale is in the teens again.  I'm not going to change my weigh in for the day because for one thing I haven't eaten much today and I have already did my walking for the day so I'm figuring thats where this extra weight loss came from.  I'm just going to leave things the way they are right now because that just means next week I will see a loss.  I'm only 14 lbs from what I was a year ago and only 20 lbs from what I was 2 years ago so I can't wait to hit all these milestones and then its all downhill from there.  I'm crossing my fingers and I plan on working super hard and maybe just maybe if I'm lucky I will be in onederland by New Years.  Nothing or noone can stop me now baby, I'm on fire.

Goals, Challenges and Weigh In Updates

I finished up a couple of challenges last weekend so I wanted to update my list of ongoing challenges and goals. Keeping them all together like this makes it easier to track everything. I know it seems like I have taken on alot but its keeps me motivated and keeps me busy so I don't think about food so much. Updates are in red.

Weight loss goals (2 lbs a week):
November 2, 2010- 221 lbs (I weigh 222 lbs.)
November 30, 2010- 213 lbs (34 lb loss for Thanksgiving, thats a lot to be thankful for)
December 28, 2010- 205 lbs (42 lb loss for Christmas would make it a very merry Christmas)
January 25, 2011- 197 lbs
February 22, 2011- 189 lbs (under 200 for valentines how sweet that would be)
March 22, 2011- 181 lbs
April 19, 2011- 173 lbs
May 17, 2011- 165 lbs (it would be nice to celebrate our 5 year anniversary with me at this weight)
June 14, 2011- 157 lbs
July 12, 2011- 149 lbs ( 2 days before my birthday what a wonderful birthday present to myself)
August 9, 2011- 141 lbs (this would be the smallest I have ever been)

I managed to hit 2 mini weight loss goals this week, I've lost my 10% which equals 24.7 lbs and I hit my 25 lbs lost goal.  Yay for me.  My next mini goals are to lose 30 lbs total and be in the teens (219 lbs).  About a year ago I weighed 205 lbs so I can't wait until I get back to that weight so it will be all downhill from there.  I would love to be under 200 by New Years and I may be able to do it if I work really hard and watch everything I eat.  Sometimes I get so excited that I'm losing weight but the reality of how slow its happening is kind of depressing.  I know its better to lose it slowly but I'm ready to be able to look in the mirror and see a skinny me.

Recommended Daily Allowances:
(not really a challenge but something I need to keep an eye on)
Calories: 1760 to lose 2 lbs a week
Fat: 64 grams
Fiber: 25 grams
Carbohydrates: 300 grams
Sugar: 40 grams
Protein: 50 grams
Sodium: 2400 milligrams


Exercise:
I have challenged myself to walk a 160 miles by New Years. I am using the ticker on the right side of my blog to keep track of how far I have walked.
(I have walked 85 miles so far in this challenge.)


Hot 100 Challenge:
Steve from http://logmyloss.com/  is hosting the Hot 100 Challenge. The Hot 100 is a challenge focused on the last 100 days of 2010 beginning September 23, 2010. Here are my goals:
#1....This was my own personal challenge anyway so I'm adding it as my first goal here.....walk 160 miles by New Years.
(I have walked 85 miles so far.)
#2....Continue to eat healthy and exercise so I can lose 20 lbs by New Years. Beginning weight 235.4 lbs.
(I have lost 13.4 lbs so far.)
#3....Make it through the holiday season without falling back into old eating patterns.
(I made it through a Halloween without overeating so I'm doing pretty good so far.)

Monthly Goals (11/1/10-11/31/10):
(my own personal goals)
1. Water- My goal has been to drink 128 oz of water a day but I still have not managed to accomplish this so that is my first goal I'm going to work on this month. (I have still yet to hit this goal)
2. Sugar- I have greatly reduced my sugar intake already but its still something I need to continue to work on. (I have improved on my sugar intake but I still think I can do better)
3. Fruits- I love fruits especially sweet fruits like bananas, apples and grapes but I have learned that fruits have alot of natural sugar in them so you do need to watch how much you eat so my goal this month is to continue to keep my fruit intake to a maximum of 1-2 servings per day. (I'm getting in my 1-2 servings a day)
4. Vegetables- I have always been a vegetable eater but I have had to learn to replace some of my carbs like macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes with vegetables instead. I am learning to try new vegetables that I've never had before to add some variety into my eating and vegetables really are good for you and help to fill you up. So I plan on continuing to try at least one new vegetable and make sure I get my daily servings of veggies in. (Lately I haven't been eating as many veggies so I need to work on this)
5. Carbohydrates- This is probably one of my favorite types of foods, I mean who doesn't love macaroni and cheese and pasta dishes and breads but if you aren't careful these types of food can put alot of weight on you. So I plan on continuing to really watch my intake of carbs. (I have greatly reduced my carb intake but I can always do better)
6. Exercise- I have been doing really good at exercise but I am adding that as one of my goals so that I make sure I continue to get all of my exercise in. I am challenging myself to walk/jog 5-6 days a week and at least 15 miles a week. I also have began strength training and plan on doing this 3 times a week. (This last week I got kind of lazy and only walked 10.4 miles but I have done my strength training 4 days)
7. Soda- I have mainly been drinking water but I have been sneaking in a couple diet sodas a week and I want to completely give up sodas this month. (I only had 1 diet soda this past week)
8. Fast Food- I try to pick the healthiest thing when I get fast food but like a friend pointed out to me no fast food is healthy. I'm only picking out the least unhealthy thing on the menu so this is definitely something I need to give up. So my last goal is to completely avoid fast food this next month. (I had fast food once this past week but at least it was only a veggie burger)


I Refuse to Blow it Over the Holidays Challenge:
This challenge is being hosted by Erika at http://wwwfatlikeme.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html . Its just a personal challenge not to overeat during the holidays. You just keep track of how much weight you have lost from the first day of fall until after New Years. My beginning weight was 235.4 lbs.
(I have lost 13.4 lbs so far in this challenge.)


I know this seems like alot of goals and challenges but they all kind of fit together I just want to be able to update all of them on the same day to make it easier for me to remember.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

How much exercise is to much?

Well I was going to try to stick to one post a day but I wanted to talk about exercise and get some advice.  First off I have started strength training on top of my walking.  I am walking 5-6 days a week and strength training every other day.  I'm also planning on adding some other exercises in the form of crunches and such using my exercise ball, resistance training using exercise bands and toning exercises using a pilates bar.  My question is can you overdo it on exercise?  Also if I'm faithful to my strength training how long before I will see my work paying off?

This will be my exercise schedule, any advice would be appreciated.




Walking/Jogging- 5-6 days a week totalling at least 15 miles






Strength Training- every other day (arm curls, bench presses and leg curls)







Exercise ball- opposite days of strength training (to strengthen my core)






Resistance bands- opposite days of strength training (tone arms and legs)






Pilates bar- opposite days of strength training (stretching and toning)



Do you think this is to much?  I don't mind doing all this as long as I'm not hurting my body.  I'm willing to put in the work if its going to pay off for me in the long run.  I know my body is never going to look perfect but I want to try to tone up as much as I can.

My Day

I hate days like this, gloomy and rainy and just down right depressing.  I did manage to get alot around the house done and run all my errands.  My eating was ok today and honestly I wasn't even that hungry.  Ever since I started taking my vitamin my stomach hasn't felt right and I haven't really been hungry which is a good thing I guess.  I didn't feel like eating dinner but I did eat alittle.  Here is what I had today.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 1 bowl of black bean chili mac w/ mexican
            cheese and lite sour cream
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 fiber one bar

Dinner- 1 riblet
             1/2 cup baked beans
             1/2 cup macaroni and cheese
             1 cup broccoli
             water (16.9 oz)

I walked/jogged 1.8 miles in 24 minutes around my neighborhood.  I also did my strength training.  I did 3 sets of 15 bench presses at 40 lbs, 3 sets of 15 arm curls at 40 lbs and 3 sets of 15 leg curls at 48 lbs.
Photo Challenge, Day 11
Here are my photos of the day.



Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Change in Plans

I've decided to change how I post and see how it works out.  Usually I post three or even four posts a day but I'm going to try combining all these into one daily post.  This will save not only me time but also my fellow bloggers who read my posts time.  I will start off today by telling you that this day was so much better than yesterday.  My eating was on track and I also feel alot better.  I've been very busy today going to school, running errands, taking pictures, cleaning and cooking.  I'm just glad that I don't have that same sense of hopelessness about my weight loss like I did yesterday.  Now on to what I had to eat today.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 banana

Lunch- 2 slices turkey, 1 slice of cheese and honey
           mustard on 2 slices white bread
           water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- 1 bowl of black bean chili mac w/ mexican
             cheese and lite sour cream
             1 garlic cheddar biscuit
             water (16.9 oz)

I kept track of my nutritional info so I could see where I stand on my eating.  The first lists shows what I'm suppose to be eating a day and the second list is what I actually ate.

Calories      1760          1605
Fat              64 g            68 g
Fiber           25 g            41 g
Carbs          300 g         186 g
Sugar           40 g           36 g      
Protein         50 g           73 g
Sodium       2400 mg     1984 mg

I did have alittle to much fat and protein and I really ate alot of fiber so I better get on the ball drinking my water.  Other than that there are a few minor changes I need to make but it doesn't look to bad.

I haven't exercised yet and I'm not sure if I'm going to get to since I have noone to watch my kids tonight but I may try to get them to walk with me even if we can't walk as fast as I normally do.

Update:  I walked 1 mile with the kids before it started raining on us.  I guess thats better than nothing.

Now on to my photo challenge.  Today is day 10 of my challenge in which I take a picture everyday for a year.  Its getting harder and harder to find things that are interesting to take pictures of.  I hate living in such a small town, I guess I'm going to have to get more creative but anyway here is my picture for today.  I saw these right up the road from where I live so I pulled over and snapped a quick shot of them.  I promise I'll have something more interesting tomorrow.
In case you don't know what these are they are called guineas and they were just running around in the road.

Lastly I wanted to say a big thank you to everyone that reads my blog.  Lately I haven't been feeling the blogging mojo and my posts have gotten pretty boring and still I keep getting support and that means so much to me.  I have no doubt that I will succeed at my weight loss this time thanks to all of my wonderful fellow bloggers.  Thanks and I hope I can be as much support to all of you as you have been for me.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Photo Challenge Day 9

Here are the pictures of the day.  They aren't very good because I had to find something quickly to take a picture of because it was getting dark but here is what I got.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 3/4 cups frosted flakes
                 3/4 cups rice krispies
                 1 cup skim milk

Snack- 1 fiber one bar

Lunch- 1 bowl chicken noodle soup
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 mini pack peanut butter m&m's
            1/4 cup mixed nuts
            1 cup grapes           
            water (16.9 oz)

Another not so good eating day but I'm vowing to get back on track tomorrow.  I'm also making sure I get all my water in tomorrow.

Even though I didn't want to walk I made myself go and I felt alot better after I was done.  I walked 2.1 miles in 30 minutes around my neighborhood.  I also did my strength training today which included 3 sets of 15 bench presses at 40 lbs, 3 sets of 15 leg curls at 48 lbs and 2 sets of 15 arm curls at 40 lbs.

Feeling Blah

Do you ever have those days where you just feel blah?  Thats what I'm going through today but its my own fault. 

Yesterday I decided to get up early and drive to the mountains to take pictures.  Halfway to the mountains I realized I have forgotten to take my depression medicine.  I know better than this because this is what happens when I miss taking my medicine on time.  By the time I got home yesterday I had a giant headache and I felt all floaty headed.  I took my pill as soon as I got home but it will take a few days to feel better.  I couldn't sleep last night so I ended up staying up all night and then I slept most of today.  I did manage to drag myself out of bed and run some errands but I hate feeling like this. 

Its scary to be so dependent on a pill to want to live your life.  I will never consider going off of this medicine though and I hope nothing ever happens that I have to because honestly its the only thing that keeps me going.  I truly believe this medicine is the only reason I have been able to go back to school, to lose weight and to just manage normal daily tasks.  It helps me think rationally, stay focused and keeps me motivated. 

I told my husband earlier that I needed to figure out someway to make sure I take my pill the same time every morning.  I usually remember but when i don't I pay the price.  Does anyone have any suggestions to help me remember?

I have also started taking a multivitamin and need to make sure I take this everyday to.  I am having issues with this though because I have difficulty swallowing big pills so I have been splitting my multivitamin up and taking it like that, does anyone know if this is ok to do?  I looked on the bottle and it doesn't say you can't take it this way.

I am forcing myself to exercise later today because I know this will make me feel better.  I wish I could just stay in bed though.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                 diet dr pepper (20 oz)

Snack- 1 fiber one bar

Lunch- veggie burger w/ ketchup (Burger King)

Dinner- 1 bowl chicken noodle soup
             water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 cup grapes
            1 1/2 cups bran cereal
            1/4 cup trail mix
            1 cup skim milk

Today hasn't really felt like a good day eating wise even though I see I haven't eaten that much.  I was so busy today and I just didn't really get time to think about myself much.  I didn't even drink that much water today which is never a good thing.

I meant to exercise today but I just ran out of time so I will be back on track tomorrow.

Photo Challenge Day 8

I decided to take a trip to the mountains all by myself today to see what I could take pictures of.  I don't know how I managed to miss the turning of the leaves but I did because most of the trees were bare which was really disappointing.  I did find a few interesting things to take pictures of though.  Here are my pictures of the day.  You can click on any picture to make it larger.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Goals and Challenge Updates

I finished up a couple of challenges this weekend so I wanted to update my list of ongoing challenges and goals.  Keeping them all together like this makes it easier to track everything. I know it seems like I have taken on alot but its keeping me motivated and keeping me busy so I don't think about food so much. Updates are in red.


Weight loss goals (2 lbs a week):
November 2, 2010- 221 lbs (I weigh 223.6 lbs.)
November 30, 2010- 213 lbs (34 lb loss for Thanksgiving, thats a lot to be thankful for)
December 28, 2010- 205 lbs (42 lb loss for Christmas would make it a very merry Christmas)
January 25, 2011- 197 lbs
February 22, 2011- 189 lbs (under 200 for valentines how sweet that would be)
March 22, 2011- 181 lbs
April 19, 2011- 173 lbs
May 17, 2011- 165 lbs (it would be nice to celebrate our 5 year anniversary with me at this weight)
June 14, 2011- 157 lbs
July 12, 2011- 149 lbs ( 2 days before my birthday what a wonderful birthday present to myself)
August 9, 2011- 141 lbs (this would be the smallest I have ever been)

Recommended Daily Allowances:
(not really a challenge but something I need to keep an eye on)
Calories: 1760 to lose 2 lbs a week
Fat: 64 grams
Fiber: 25 grams
Carbohydrates: 300 grams
Sugar: 40 grams
Protein: 50 grams
Sodium: 2400 milligrams


Exercise: 
I have challenged myself to walk a 160 miles by New Years.  I am using the ticker on the right side of my blog to keep track of how far I have walked.
(I have walked 80 miles so far in this challenge.)

Hot 100 Challenge:
Steve from http://logmyloss.com/  is hosting the Hot 100 Challenge. The Hot 100 is a challenge focused on the last 100 days of 2010 beginning September 23, 2010. Here are my goals:
#1....This was my own personal challenge anyway so I'm adding it as my first goal here.....walk 160 miles by New Years.
(I have walked 80 miles so far.)
#2....Continue to eat healthy and exercise so I can lose 20 lbs by New Years. Beginning weight 235.4 lbs.
(I have lost 11.6 lbs so far.)
#3....Make it through the holiday season without falling back into old eating patterns.
(I made it through a Halloween without overeating so I'm doing pretty good so far.)

Monthly Goals (11/1/10-11/31/10):
(my own personal goals)
1. Water- My goal has been to drink 128 oz of water a day but I still have not managed to accomplish this so that is my first goal I'm going to work on this month.
2. Sugar- I have greatly reduced my sugar intake already but its still something I need to continue to work on.
3. Fruits- I love fruits especially sweet fruits like bananas, apples and grapes but I have learned that fruits have alot of natural sugar in them so you do need to watch how much you eat so my goal this month is to continue to keep my fruit intake to a maximum of 1-2 servings per day.
4. Vegetables- I have always been a vegetable eater but I have had to learn to replace some of my carbs like macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes with vegetables instead. I am learning to try new vegetables that I've never had before to add some variety into my eating and vegetables really are good for you and help to fill you up. So I plan on continuing to try at least one new vegetable and make sure I get my daily servings of veggies in.
5. Carbohydrates- This is probably one of my favorite types of foods, I mean who doesn't love macaroni and cheese and pasta dishes and breads but if you aren't careful these types of food can put alot of weight on you. So I plan on continuing to really watch my intake of carbs.
6. Exercise- I have been doing really good at exercise but I am adding that as one of my goals so that I make sure I continue to get all of my exercise in. I am challenging myself to walk/jog 5-6 days a week and at least 15 miles a week.  I also have began strength training and plan on doing this 3 times a week. 
7. Soda- I have mainly been drinking water but I have been sneaking in a couple diet sodas a week and I want to completely give up sodas this month.
8. Fast Food- I try to pick the healthiest thing when I get fast food but like a friend pointed out to me no fast food is healthy. I'm only picking out the least unhealthy thing on the menu so this is definitely something I need to give up. So my last goal is to completely avoid fast food this next month.


I Refuse to Blow it Over the Holidays Challenge:
This challenge is being hosted by Erika at http://wwwfatlikeme.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html . Its just a personal challenge not to overeat during the holidays. You just keep track of how much weight you have lost from the first day of fall until after New Years. My beginning weight was 235.4 lbs.
(I have lost 11.6 lbs so far in this challenge.)

I know this seems like alot of goals and challenges but they all kind of fit together I just want to be able to update all of them on the same day to make it easier for me to remember.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup trail mix
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 1 bowl of vegetable soup
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 bowl banana pudding
Dinner- 5 oz chicken breast
            1 cup broccoli
            1/2 cup mashed potatoes
            1/2 cup rice
            water (16.9 oz)

Eating was good today and instead of eating a bunch of halloween candy I made myself a bowl of lowfat banana pudding.  I used 9 vanilla wafers, sugar-free fat-free instant vanilla pudding made with skim milk and 1 banana.

I walked 3.4 miles around my neighborhood in 49 minutes and I did 3 sets of 12 bench presses at 48 lbs, 3 sets of 12 arm curls at 48 lbs and 3 sets of 12 legs curls at 30 lbs.


Photo Challenge Day 7

Here are the pictures of the day.  My kids went trick or treating with their dad last night and when they got home today I took pictures of them in their costumes.

Happy Halloween!!!

I just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Halloween and remember as tempting as the treats are its not worth the trick its going to play on your body.  Just keep your goals in mind and walk away.  I wish everyone the best of luck, you can do this.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Photo Challenge Day 6

Here is todays pictures.  This is my backyard with a creek running through it.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup trail mix
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 banana

Lunch- 1 bowl vegetable soup
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 fiber one bar

Dinner- 1 bowl vegetable soup
             water (16.9 oz)

Eating was good today but I'm skipping exercising today.

Change your thinking

I don't know about anyone else but alot of losing weight for me has been about changing my thought patterns.  I have to be able to believe that I can do this and not let my mind rule my body.  I have to let go of the past and all my failures with weight loss, otherwise I just set myself up for another failure.  I have to stop the negative thinking and replace those with positive thoughts.  This isn't something that has occurred overnight and its still an ongoing process. 

Just this morning I blogged about how discouraging weight loss can be because its seems to take forever.  Of course its easier to just sit and stuff my face and gain weight but is that the life I want to live....definitely not.  Noone ever said weight loss was going to be easy and yes I whine and complain about not being able to eat whatever I want and about having to exercise everyday but in the long run I know this is whats best for me.

I have had to overcome emotionally eating, from eating when I'm happy to celebrate to eating when I'm sad to make the pain go away.  I use to run to food when someone made me mad, thinking in my twisted mind that I was somehow punishing them for hurting me when the only person I was really punishing was myself.  Now when someone hurts me I use that hurt as my strength, I refuse to let that person win twice.  I turn to exercise to get out my frustrations.  I use to think of exercise as torture but now I see it as my time, time to meditate, calm down and think things out. 

I use to think of food as a reward.  If I had a hard day then I believed going out to dinner was a way of rewarding myself but not anymore.  My reward now for a hard day is to get me time to exercise.  I use to think of food as the center of my life, always thinking what my next meal was going to be.  Now food is secondary in my life, its what I need to keep my body energized and healthy.  I can do without the chocolate cake, cookies and ice cream, I don't need those things to survive and if I have a craving I can satisfy it with one bite not the whole cake, box of cookies or container of ice cream.

This time of the year is the worst for most people because of so many celebrations which usually include food.  Yes I worry that I'm not going to have the willpower to resist all the goodies but so far I have been very successfully at events like this.  The trick is to plan ahead and know that you don't have to eat to have fun.  I went to my nephews birthday party last weekend and I knew what I was going to eat ahead of time and thats what I had.  I also spent my time taking pictures, riding horses and other fun stuff going on at the party.  Enjoy the people you are spending time with instead of focusing on the food.  Tell yourself you can do it. 

I don't have very much support from anyone around me so I'm pretty much in this weight loss journey by myself.  Normally this would mean failure for me because I'm very codependent but not this time.  Noone can lose this weight for me and I don't need anyone elses approval, I'm doing this for me.  The people that are negative about my weight loss have no idea that their negativity is my greatest strength.  I have found a way to turn their negativity around and use it as one of my greatest motivations.

If you tell yourself your going to fail then thats exactly what you are going to do.  Change your negatives into positives and even if it doesn't seem to make any difference at first just keep telling yourself the same thing over and over again eventually you will change your thinking to.  Everything we have learned is about habit.  If you can learn the bad habit of overeating then you can relearn the good habit of healthy eating, it just takes time.

My Time

Why does weight loss have to take so long? 

It feels like I can put on twenty pounds in a weekend but taking that same twenty pounds off takes two months.  I know losing the weight slowly is the healthiest way and you have more of a chance to keep it off but it sure does suck being fat. 

These are our choices set around stuffing our face with everything that we love and gain weight or watch every bite that goes into our mouth and exercise like a mad person and drop one pound a week if we are lucky.  No wonder so many people fail at weight loss, what a choice.  It doesn't seem quite fair does it? 

As you can tell I'm in a whiny mood this morning.  My weight loss has slowed which I guess thats better than stopping completely but I liked stepping on the scale every morning and seeing even the smallest of losses.  I kind of set myself up for failure when I put a particular number in my head that I wanted to lose this week.  Lesson learned, never again will I plan for a loss, I need to just appreciate what I do lose. 

I know that my body is getting healthier and stronger and that the weight will keep coming off.  Its just sucks to look in the mirror and know how hard I have been working and not see a difference.  I know my clothes fit differently and I know mentally that I have lost weight but I'm not seeing it.  I see myself in pictures and I'm just as fat as I have always been.  I hate the way I look. 

As shallow as it may sound I look forward to the day when people start noticing my weight loss, which hasn't happened yet.  I'm so tired of being the "FAT GIRL" that noone notices.  I'm tired of worrying about how I look in this outfit or that outfit or what people are thinking when they look at me.  I just want to be normal.

I wrote this post in hopes of getting out some of my frustrations.  I also wanted to rededicate myself to eating right and exercising and cutting myself a break.  I'm so hard on myself and I don't need all that negativity.  To look in the mirror and know that I've lost over 21 pounds and still keep telling myself how ugly and fat I am isn't helping anything.  I want to be able to love myself, I really do, but when you have hated your body for so long for betraying you its hard to find something positive to focus on, but thats a challenge I'm ready to face.  I just read my last sentence and I have that totally wrong, it wasn't my body that betrayed me it was me who betrayed my body.  I chose to overeat and gain all this weight. 

Well no more I was given this one life to live and I refuse to cut my life short by continuing to be overweight.  I need to lose this weight not only so I feel better about myself but so I can live a longer, healthier life.  This is my time dammit and I'm not going to waste anymore of it.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Photo Challenge Day 5

Today is only the fifth day of my challenge to take one picture a day for 365 days and already its so hard to find things around here that are even worth taking pictures of.  I need to make a trip to the mountains or the beach and really get some beautiful pictures but until then here is a picture of my neighbors goats....lol.


So you see my halloween costume wasn't very far off from the truth, sometimes I feel like a hillbilly where I live.
My hillbilly costume

Strength Training

I finally got around tonight to starting my strenth training.  The only thing I have to use at home is my husbands weight bench.  I did 3 sets of 12 bench presses with 40 lbs of weight, 3 sets of 12 arm curls with 40 lbs of weight and 3 sets of 12 leg curls with 45 lbs of weight.  I'm trying to figure out what else I can do with the weights he has.  He has a straight bar for his weight bench and a curl bar which is what I used tonight.  The leg curl is part of his weight bench so I used that to. 

Any other tips on exercises I can do using this kind of equipment?  I asked my husband advice on the weight and how many sets I should do.  Does what I did sound about right?  It felt ok and got harder with the more sets I did.  My husband said that if I wanted to go for toning and not building up muscles like a bodybuilder then I need to go with less weight and more reps, is this true? 

I also have an exercise ball that I plan on using and I have some resistant bands and some hand weights but they don't weigh very much maybe 8 lbs.  I want to start doing more toning along with my walking because God knows my skin is going to need all the help it can get as my body shrinks.


What I would give to look like this when I'm strength training.