Boredom

I'm suffering from a major case of boredom.  I started school today and I've already finished all my work I had to do and now I'm bored.  My kids are at my moms for the night and I'm all alone and I'm bored.  Can you tell how bored I am?.....lol.  Usually this leads to eating but today I'm just alittle depressed and worried and stressing over something I can't really talk about right now but it feels good to not be turning to food. 

The last 4 days have been easy eating wise and thats got me worried but I'm trying to think positively because negative thinking brings on negative behavior.  Just have to keep repeating these last 4 days, day after day for the next however long it takes to get this weight off.  I do know that I'm going to decrease my portion sizes starting tomorrow because I still feel like sometimes I'm eating to much at one time.  I need to also up my water intake and start getting in more fruits and veggies but I'm taking this one step at a time.  Small changes lead to big changes.

I guess thats about all for now, like I said I'm bored and not really motivated to do anything.  Kind of just feel like going to sleep which that could be because I only slept two hours last night.  Hope your all having a great day in bloggerland.

A big adjustment

Ever since my husband moved out I just can't stay busy enough.  I get bored so easy and boredom leads to eating.  My house is spotless, I have all my errands and phone calls caught up and I'm running out of things to do.  When my husband still lived here I seemed to stay busier I guess because I had another person to take care of.  Its just a big adjustment to get use to.  It feels really good to accomplish so much but now what? 
Especially on days like this when its rainy outside, I can't exercise, I can't take the kids anywhere so I'm stuck in the house bored out of my mind.  I try to watch tv but its just not interesting to me, I'm not really into web surfing so besides updating my blog theres nothing to do on here, and I spend time with the kids but they go to bed at 8 so that still leaves a long night ahead of me.  Any suggestions on things I can do to keep me busy?  It just seems like over this last week I've lost some of my willpower and motivation to lose weight and I don't want to start going backwards.  Its hard to get my mind in the right state when my life seems so unbalanced right now.  I don't like being alone, I don't like being single, I'm lonely but not ready to move forward.  In the middle of December I'm out of school for four weeks and I'm really worried about this because then I will have even less to do.  What am I going to do with all my time? 

How I improved my mood.

Today started off ok but as the day went on I got more and more depressed.  I've never been diagnosed with Seasonal affective disorder but I know how I feel on days like this.  When the sky is gloomy looking and there is rain in the forecast I'm just miserable.  I want and need my sunshine.  On my drive home from school I just felt like coming home and curling up in a ball and crying.  When I got home I layed around for alittle while, getting nothing done and then a friend suggested that I go for my walk.  I got ready and headed out and decided to see how much I've improved with my jogging.  The first lap was wonderful but I forgot to time how long I could run so on my second lap I timed myself.  Amazingly I could run 5 minutes straight and that was including one hill.  I have come so far and when I jog my energy level goes through the roof.  I only did 2 laps because I've been having a pain running down the side of my leg today so I didn't want to push myself to hard.  After I finished my walk/jog I got dinner started and cleaned my house, things I could have never done in the mood I was in.  Exercise truly can improve your mood.

For those of you that suffer with depression what do you do to change your mood?  I am on an antidepressant but I think I need to talk to my doctor about increasing the dose at least during the winter months.  I'm also going to talk to my doctor about light therapy because my mood changes so drastically based on the weather.  I just need to remember that when I'm feeling bad exercise can be a natural mood booster.

Feeling Blah

Do you ever have those days where you just feel blah?  Thats what I'm going through today but its my own fault. 

Yesterday I decided to get up early and drive to the mountains to take pictures.  Halfway to the mountains I realized I have forgotten to take my depression medicine.  I know better than this because this is what happens when I miss taking my medicine on time.  By the time I got home yesterday I had a giant headache and I felt all floaty headed.  I took my pill as soon as I got home but it will take a few days to feel better.  I couldn't sleep last night so I ended up staying up all night and then I slept most of today.  I did manage to drag myself out of bed and run some errands but I hate feeling like this. 

Its scary to be so dependent on a pill to want to live your life.  I will never consider going off of this medicine though and I hope nothing ever happens that I have to because honestly its the only thing that keeps me going.  I truly believe this medicine is the only reason I have been able to go back to school, to lose weight and to just manage normal daily tasks.  It helps me think rationally, stay focused and keeps me motivated. 

I told my husband earlier that I needed to figure out someway to make sure I take my pill the same time every morning.  I usually remember but when i don't I pay the price.  Does anyone have any suggestions to help me remember?

I have also started taking a multivitamin and need to make sure I take this everyday to.  I am having issues with this though because I have difficulty swallowing big pills so I have been splitting my multivitamin up and taking it like that, does anyone know if this is ok to do?  I looked on the bottle and it doesn't say you can't take it this way.

I am forcing myself to exercise later today because I know this will make me feel better.  I wish I could just stay in bed though.