Thursday, March 3, 2011

I Went Shopping

Today has been a very good day so far.  I had my breakfast which consisted of a bowl of Kashi cereal than I was off to school where we went on a field trip to an Art Museum.  After school my stomach was growling so I decided to eat where my mom works which happens to be an all you can eat buffet.  I tried not to put to much pressure on myself to eat perfectly but I also didn't want to binge and have to run home to purge either.  I started off with a small salad and then got up to get me something else when I realized I really didn't need anymore food.  Of course I couldn't leave without dessert so I did allow myself a small piece of cake topped with alittle vanilla ice cream and caramel syrup.  As soon as I was done eating I got up and left knowing that if I stayed any longer that I would give in an indulge in more desserts.  After eating I decided I was going shopping for some new clothes which I hate because I never like how I look in anything but I was bound and determined to find 2 outfits that I was comfortable in.  It was easy enough to find a couple pairs of bluejean capri pants but the shirts were harder.  Hating to show any of my rolls and also dreading the super short sleeves they put on all shirts these days I kept looking until I found two outfits I liked.  Now I never really shop for myself so it was an accomplishment alone to get the clothes but I even bought matching jewelry to go with each outfit.  My counselor has me working on my self esteem and one of my goals is to come into her office each week in a new outfit all put together, hair fixed, makeup on and beaming with the confidence to carry it off so now I'm really looking forward to my next visit with her.  Just trying on clothes that fit my body made me want to lose weight even more.  I can't stand not feeling comfortable in what I wear so I made sure I bought clothes that were alittle tighter than I like on myself.  Now I just have to make it through the rest of the day without overeating.  Here are pictures of me in my new outfits:


I hate the way I look in pictures but thats something else I'm trying to overcome, facing my fears.


  1. I like both of those outfits ! They are really cute on you : )


  2. Shopping is stressful for me too. I usually come out of it with lower self-esteem than I walked in with. But, things are getting better as the weight comes off.

  3. I understand how traumatic it can be when shopping for clothes. They have the worst lighting in those dressing rooms...ugh. But you came out of it very well. I like both outfits a lot, but REALLY like the red/white/jeans one. You're a winter, so you can wear those stark colors well. I would look good in the other one--they're good colors for you, too. I'm jealous you can wear red and white. Very good choices. Be sure to tell us what your therapist says about your new look! Awesome!

  4. Thanks so much for the sweet comments. I personally don't like how I look in either outfit in the pictures but I know its just my body dysmorphic disorder talking. I like how I feel in them so thats all that matters. I'm struggling to find a way to feel comfortable in my own skin so I guess seeing myself in pictures is part of that. I appreciate all of your comments and support and it really does help to get feedback.