Small Update

I'm still working on losing weight but I did have one small set back, two weeks ago I gained a pound.  This past week I didn't attend my weight watchers meeting but I'm pretty sure I just maintained but I will be back on track this week. 

Weigh In- Week 8

Well I'm late posting this but I lost 3 lbs at my meeting Tuesday night.  That brings my total weight loss to 19.2 lbs.  I can't wait to hit the 20 lb mark next week.

Still Here

Just wanted to let everyone know I'm still here and still doing Weight Watchers, just haven't had much to post about lately.  I didn't have weigh in last week because I had to go to my son's chorus production at school so I missed my meeting but I will start posting again soon.

Weigh In- Week 7

Had my weigh in tonight at Weight Watchers and I lost .6 lbs, better than a gain.  That makes a total loss of 16.2 lbs in seven weeks.  I can't wait to hit my 20 lb mark.

The Dreaded Scale

Weigh In- Week 6

Well I had my week 6 weigh in tonight and I was totally surprised to see I had lost 3 lbs in the last two weeks.  I had to skip weigh in last week because I was in New Orleans and I tried to eat good while I was there and I walked alot but I still didn't expect this much of a loss.  I had two milestones tonight, I hit my 5% goal and I hit 15.6 lbs lost.  I'm so happy right now and I hope the weight loss continues.  My next hurdle is to hit my 10% goal which would be 27 lbs total lost.  The journey continues.

Living With Blinders On

I was thinking earlier as I drove home about a project I have to do at school where I have to be on video.  Of course I hate the way I look and totally dread this.  Another example I have is where a friend of mine posted a few pictures of me on facebook and I begged her not to but she said I looked fine and so did my mom when she seen them.  I literally have a small handful of pictures of myself because I hate the way I look.  Am I just living with blinders on or do I really look as bad as I think? 

I look back at pictures of myself where I weighed 142 lbs and at the time I thought I looked so fat and awful but now I look at those pics and would kill to look like that again.  Why can't we see whats truly there?  How do we stop seeing all of our flaws and start seeing our assets? 

I feel bad for my kids because they are going to grow up with albums and more albums filled with pictures of them but you wouldn't even think they had a mother because I'm nowhere's to be found in any of the pictures.  Its even worse now that I have a digital camera because as soon as I get a picture of me taken I just erase it and it never even makes it to print.  I'm erasing memories that my children will cherish.

Are you living with blinders on to?  How do you force yourself to stop criticizing every picture you get taken?  I don't want to get to my goal weight and still hate how I look like I did last time.  I want to learn to accept myself and what I see.

Plus Size Ad Banned From Superbowl

When I first seen this headline I was outraged but once you watch the video below you will understand and hopefully be grateful that they did ban this commercial.  Let me know what you think about the commercial and this article.

Plus Size Ad Banned from the Super Bowl

by Brittany on January 23, 2012

in Self & Body

Whitney Thompson is, to date, the only plus size winner of America’s Next Top Model. Cycle 10, B.A.(Before Angelea.)

Unlike many ANTM winners, Whitney has done anything but fall off the radar… or marry a Brady.
Thompson has been a working plus size model signed with Wilhelmina, was the 2010 Ambassador to the National Eating Disorder Association, involved in the Love Your Body & NOH8 campaigns, and has started her own line of jewelry and candles.
Color me impressed? Absolutely.
When I came across a news story claiming Whitney’s ad had been banned from the Super Bowl, I was outraged.
Was this a repeat of the 2010 Lane Bryant debacle, where ABC and FOX foolishly banned the commercial for the retailer’s Cacique line of plus size lingerie because they claimed it was too sexy?
Where are my outrage panties, because I’m about to be outraged, y’all.
So I dug deeper.
Thompson recently launched a dating site geared specifically toward plus-size women, The Big and The Beautiful. Thompson claims to have created the site so that a curvy woman can feel free to be herself and post pictures, knowing full well the men on the site are there “for — not in spite of — her physical attributes.”
Ahem, okay. This whole plus dating thing hasn’t sat well with me since FOX’s ill birthed More to Love, featuring a plus-size man deciding, The Bachelor-style, between a group of plus-size women.
Why can’t the general population date the general population, regardless of size?
I mean, I’m way more plus-size than my husband, but he found me just wandering around with the regular-sized people, and just up and agreed to marry me, anyway.
Thompson making a place for curvy women to feel comfortable is great, but at the expense of sidelining equality and acceptance among women of all sizes makes me squeamish.
So, the ad for The Big and The Beautiful was nixed, and Thompson is crying foul. Is the NFL size-ist?
Just click on the link below to watch the commercial and judge for yourself.

http://youtu.be/L4G6k5ZeHkg


While no one can know for sure why the NFL rejected the ad, if I had to take a guess, I would say because it’s, well, horribly shot and horribly offensive to women, all women.
Is that the message we want to put out into the world? Attractive douche bags in suits are tired of picking up thin and sexually experienced women on the normal-sized person dating sites, so now they’ll do their lady banging shopping on a site specializing in curvy women who… by obvious definition are not as sexually experienced… because we’re unattractive… or we’re secretly horny if only someone would pay attention to us…. or we’re the only option because all the skinny girls are in comas… or um… honestly, somebody stop me when any of this makes sense.
I’m all for lifting up women and empowering them to love their bodies, but to me, this is an abuse of size discrimination to drum up some buzz for, what equates to, a fetish site.
Frankly, I will be happy for women and teens not to see this ad during the Super Bowl. Now, what can we do about those ridiculous GoDaddy commercials?

Southwestern Rice Bowls

(without toppings)

Southwestern Rice Bowls

1 box Zatarain's Spanish Rice

1 can rotel tomatoes

1-2 seasoned chicken breasts(seasoned with taco seasoning, cooked and diced)

1 can refried beans

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed

1 can corn, drained

lettuce, shredded

cheddar cheese, shredded

fresh tomato, diced

sour cream

tortilla chips, crumbled

Chipotle Ranch dressing

1 cup ranch dressing

7-10 shakes tabasco sauce

1/2 tsp cumin

a few drops lime juice

In a medium saucepot, prepare Spanish Rice.  In a different small pot, heat refried beans.  In another pot or pan, heat corn and black beans.  While everything is heating up combine sauce ingredients.  In each bowl (makes 3-4 bowls) layer refried beans, a little cheese, rice, chicken, a few drizzles of chipotle ranch dressing, black beans and corn, a little more cheese, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream and tortilla chips or strips.

                                                              

                                                          (With toppings)

As you can probably tell 1/4 of this recipe makes a very big portion.  I would recommend cutting it into 8 servings.  The Weight Watcher points for this at 1/4 serving are very high at 26 points but at 1/8 serving it would be 13 points and thats a pretty good dinner.  This was my first time making this recipe and everyone in my family loved it.  Next time I make it I'm going to look for ways to cut the points some, so if you have any ideas let me know.

Patience, Patience, Patience

One of the biggest things I'm having to learn is patience and anyone that knows me knows that I lack any patience.  But I didn't gain this weight overnight and I'm not going to lose it overnight.  It's really hard to have patience though because I just want the weight to disappear and disappear quickly.  So what do I do?  What can I do but just take it a day at a time because if I start thinking about the big picture well then I'm giving up and I refuse to give up this time.  I'm worth this and I want to be who I know I can be, I want confidence and self esteem and the only way I'm going to get that is to beat this demon.  I can do this one minute, one hour and one day at a time.  I'm already on my sixth week of eating healthy and it seems like just yesterday I started.  For me this is one of the hardest times of the year, its winter.  I get more depressed in the winter and I can't get outside like I want to but making it through.  All I have to do is keep holding on and before you know it I will be at goal. 

So how do make yourself have patience when you are trying to lose weight?  How do you make it through this time of the year?

When Ya Need a Friend

I'm just sending a special thank you out to someone I met through this blog and we became good friends.  She's always there when I need her and she can always talk me down from doing something foolish where eating is concerned.  Thanks so much Tori.

Home At Last

Well I'm home at last and I'm very happy to be here.  As I suspected I didn't lose any weight while I was in New Orleans but I didn't gain any either so thats good.  I did eat healthy so I'm not exactly sure why I didn't lose any weight, but oh well its a new week.  I'll be back to my regular posting tomorrow hopefully.

New Orleans Here I Come

Well the time has almost come to leave on my trip and I'm so nervous.  I haven't flown since I was about 5 years old and I'm scared to death.  We leave tomorrow morning bright and early so please pray for me....lol.  I am excited about going to New Orleans, Ive never been there, never been anywhere that far from home before.  I'm going to take lots of pictures, enjoy some of the local cuisine and soak up as much as I can at the photography convention I'm going to.  I'm not sure if I will be able to post on my blog while I'm there just because I don't know how busy I'm going to be so if I can't I'll be back to posting on Wednesday.

Plus Size or Not?

I thought this article was interesting, just read the article and give me your opinion on what they have to say.

'Most runway models meet the BMI criteria for anorexia', claims plus-size magazine in powerful comment on body image in the fashion industry
By Tamara Abraham
A magazine dedicated to plus-size fashion and models has sparked controversy with a feature claiming that most runway models meet the Body Mass Index criteria for anorexia.

Accompanied by a bold shoot that sees a nude plus-size model posing alongside a skinny 'straight-size' model, PLUS Model Magazine says it aims to encourage plus-size consumers to pressure retailers to better cater to them, and stop promoting a skinny ideal.
Size 12 (U.S.) model Katya Zharkova, 28, stars in the shoot, which has a powerful statistic accompanying each image.

Size matters: PLUS Model Magazine has shot size 12 Katya Zharkova pose with a 'straight-size' model to demonstrate the difference between them

One, printed alongside a photo of the Russian beauty holding a tape measure across her rear, reads: 'Twenty years ago the average fashion model weighed 8% less than the average woman. Today, she weighs 23% less.'

Another states: 'Ten years ago plus-size models averaged between size 12 and 18. Today the need for size diversity within the plus-size modeling industry continues to be questioned.
'The majority of plus-size models on agency boards are between a size 6 and 14, while the customers continue to express their dissatisfaction.'

And finally, further highlighting how poorly the fashion world caters to plus-size women, the magazine tells us: '50% of women wear a size 14 or larger, but most standard clothing outlets cater to sizes 14 or smaller.'

Body image: The Russian beauty poses with a tape measure around her rear alongside a statistic that shows how different models are from real women

In an accompanying editorial, the magazine's editor-in-chief, Madeline Figueroa-Jones, explains that the feature is a response to a fashion and beauty industry which continues to endorse a skinny ideal that is not always healthy and alienates a huge percentage of the market.

She writes: 'We are bombarded with weight-loss ads every single day, multiple times a day because it’s a multi-billion dollar industry that preys on the fear of being fat.

'Not everyone is meant to be skinny, our bodies are beautiful and we are not talking about health here because not every skinny person is healthy.'

Ms Figueroa-Jones says consumers can no longer identify with models; the disparity between real woman and those that grace ad campaigns and the covers of magazines is to wide now.

Body image: The model proudly bares her U.S. size 12 curves in the magazine shoot

'Small women cannot be marketed to with pictures of plus-size women, why are we expected to respond to pictures of small size 6 and 8 women?' she asks.
The PLUS Model Magazine feature has generated a mixed response from its readers though.

While some have praised the statements the shoot makes, others believe that positively endorsing a fuller figure is as dangerous as advocating a skinny one. 

Big deal: The magazine wants to encourage women to embrace their bodies as they are, and not strive to emulate an unrealistic ideal

One reader on the magazine's website comments: 'If this article is saying you should feel pretty at any size, fine. but don’t tell me you’re obese and healthy. We have a twisted sense of what healthy is in this country and an even more twisted sense of what people are allowed to say about it.'

Another adds: 'I don’t think the fashion world should support obesity, just as I don’t think it should support anorexia.'

The article has also generated an equal share of agreement, though. Reader Danae writes: 'We all women are brainwashed to believe that we are ugly and men will never look at us if we are not starving... We need more variety of healthy female body images.'


Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2085226/PLUS-Model-Magazines-Katya-Zharkova-cover-highlights-body-image-fashion-industry.html#ixzz1jHUFblli

Feeling the Groove

For me weight loss occurs when I find a routine that works.  I know that I get up every morning, jump out of bed, eat breakfast, jump in the shower, get the kids off to school, head out to school myself, have a snack, have lunch, clean the house, have a snack, help kids with homework, fix dinner, spend time with the kids, have a snack and head off to bed.  Now you know how boring my life is...lol....Anyway I'm feeling the groove. 

Well my groove is going to be tested this next week because I'm heading out for a 5 day trip to New Orleans on Saturday with students from school for a photography convention.  I'm already trying to plan out what I'm going to have so that I don't blow these 5 days.  Its very important to me that I stay on track and come back from this trip with a loss.  I plan on taking cereal bars for breakfast so thats covered.  I do have to volunteer a few hours a day while I'm there helping out at the convention so that will keep me busy and my thoughts off food.  My problem is I'm going to have to be completely dependent on fast food the whole time I'm there and we are attending parties where the alcohol is free...not good.  Hopefully I can stay strong and avoid those empty calories.  I do plan on having one traditional New Orleans meal while I'm there so I will have to plan for that so that I don't go over my points.  I just have to take this as another challenge to overcome.

I will miss my weigh in on Tuesday and my meeting which really sucks but that just means I have two weeks to lose instead of one so I should lose twice as much weight.  I'm determined not to let anyone or anything stand in my way of losing weight but I do sometimes wonder when my willpower will give.  Just hoping I can stay strong and hit goal this time.

Food Journal

Here is my food journal for today:

Breakfast:  3/4 cup bran cereal-  3 points
                  1 cup skim milk-  2 points
                  1 banana-  0 points

Lunch:  2 slices bread- 4 points
             1 banana- 0 points
             1 tsp mayo- 2 points

Snack:  1 Fiber One brownie- 2 points

Dinner:  4 oz chicken breast stuffed with- 4 points
              1/2 cup stuffing-  5 points
              1/2 cup mashed potatoes-  3 points
              1 cup green beans-  0 points
              1/2 cup corn-  2 points
              1/4 cup gravy- 4 points

Snack:  2 chocolate poptarts- 7 points

Total points to use: 38
Total points used: 38

Weigh In- Week 4

Well I had my weigh in tonight and I lost 1.8 lbs.  I know this sounds good and I should be happy but I was disappointed.  I talked to my leader after the meeting about how I was feeling and we both decided that I needed to stop setting such high goals.  I had set a goal of hitting my 5% tonight which would have meant I had to lose 3.4 lbs but in the back of my head I really wanted to hit my 15 lbs loss mark which would have been 4.8 lbs.  I know now that both these goals we're to high.  I just figured if I ate right and stayed within my daily points that I would have a big loss and I have to quit doing this to myself.  I'm tired of everytime I weigh in being disappointed.  So from now on I'm just setting a goal of 1 lb, I should be able to accomplish that.  So my total loss so far is 12.6 lbs.  Yay

Test of Willpower

Today with school I went on a field trip to a place called The Light Factory which puts on art exhibits.  We also went to visit Kent Smith, who is a very well known photographer, at his studio.  Well after we got through everyone decided to go out to eat, they picked a place called Phat Burrito.  Of course it being Tuesday and weigh in day I couldn't eat.  It was a real test of my willpower because the food looked and smelled incredible but I just ordered a diet drink an went and sat down.  Luckily I did bring a Fiber One bar with me so while everyone else was eating burritos and quesadillas I was eating my bar.  The one thing that felt good was that after eating everyone was complaining about how full they were and I felt terrific.  I conquered another one of my temptations and hopefully it will show at weigh in tonight.

If You Need a Friend

I was bored earlier so I decided to reread some of my old posts.  Well I came across one where I was using the rain as an excuse not to exercise when I could have easily gotten on my treadmill.  Another blogger left me a comment pretty much telling me to quit making excuses and do what I needed to do.  Well I came home to that comment that day and ended up walking 4 miles just because of her. 

It got me to thinking that alot of us probably need a friend to root us on and some of us aren't lucky enough to have that.  So I thought maybe I could put myself out there for anyone that needs alittle cheering up, encouragement, someone to remind them to exercise or just to be a friend.

If you just leave me a comment or even send me an email I would be happy to help out.

Food Journal

Just thought I would check in with what I had to eat today.  So here it goes:

Breakfast: 3/4 cup bran cereal-  3 points
                 1 cup skim milk-  2 points
                 1 banana-  0 points

Snack:  1 bag of TGIF potato skin-  7 points

Lunch:  1 small bowl of chili with 1/3 cup mexican cheese
              and 2 tbls lite sour cream-  9 points

Snack- Fiber one bar- 3 points

Dinner- Roasted broccoli and brussels sprouts- 0 points

Snack- 1 ice cream sandwich- 4 points

Thats 28 points for the day and I have 38 points to use but I'm not sure if I'm going to eat anything else because I have to weigh in tomorrow.

Bulimic NO MORE

Most of you know that I have struggled with being bulimic for the last 13 years.  I've had times when I've done really good and not resorted to this method of weight loss, which by the way doesn't result in weight loss.  When I was pregnant I wasn't bulimic, when I was breastfeeding I wasn't bulimic and there were a few other times where I went for a span of time without being bulimic, the longest being about 9 months. 

As you know I'm doing Weight Watchers once again and this time I'm determined to do it the healthy way.  There have been a couple times where the thought has ran through my head that I could eat whatever I wanted and then just get rid of it but nope it's not going to happen.  If I can't lose this weight in a healthy way I don't want to lose it all.

I've been bulimia free for a couple months now and it feels so good to not turn to a behavior like that.  It's awful not to have control over your own thoughts and actions.  It's an addiction and I'm breaking that cycle once and for all. 

I don't know whats different about this time but something inside me has finally clicked.  I'm eating healthy and its not even hard, I think I've finally formed a new habit where food is concerned and I just have to keep with my routine.  I'm finally free of this disease and on the right path to getting healthy and losing weight.

Bored

I'm bored out of my mind and that usually leads to overeating but no more.  I'm stronger than that and I'm determined to lose weight.  All my kids are gone for the weekend so I'm all alone with nothing to do but eating isn't the solution.  I could go to sleep but I'm not sleepy.  I could work on schoolwork but I'm all caught up.  I could clean but already did that today.  I really need to add a resolution to my list to get a life...lol.  Maybe a long, hot soak in the bath is what I need.  Turn on some music and relax.  What do you do when your bored to keep from eating?

My Photography

As some of you know I'm currently a full time student studying photography and I will be graduating in May of this year.  I know a few of my fellow bloggers are photographers and I thought I would post some of my current work and just get your opinions on it. 

I'm still not sure what I want to do when I graduate yet.  I started out thinking I was going to be a wedding photographer, even bought a Canon 70-200mm 2.8 lens which set me back quite a bit and then after buying it I got cold feet and decided I didn't want to do wedding photography anymore because of the risk of ruining someones wedding.  Taking on the job of being a wedding photographer is a big responsibility and I'm not sure its something I want to do.  Then I thought I wanted to do newborn and maternity photography and I would still like to try.  I'm shooting my niece when she's born in May and I can't wait to see how the pictures turn out.  Now I really want to do retouching of photos and I'm learning everything I can about photoshop cs5 and lightroom 3 but I'm not sure if I can find a job just doing that.  I guess everyone goes through this when they are starting a new career and I have time to figure out what I'm going to do at least. 

Anyways, I'm going to post some of my pics and anyone is free to comment on them.  I always appreciate being critqued because it helps me learn what I need to change.

List Maker

I was reading someone elses blog this morning and they were talking about how they make lists and become overwhelmed.  I'm definitely a list maker, I make lists for everything.  Its the only way I get anything done and it gives me a sense of accomplishment to see things marked off my list.  I make lists for everything from cleaning the house, shopping lists, homework lists...if I can put it on a list I make it.....lol.

So I was thinking maybe thats why Weight Watchers is working so well for me because in a way its just another list I'm having to keep track of with my food journal.  Now if I could just get myself to make an exercise list and stick to it....lol.

My question to all of you is do you make lists?  I'm thinking maybe this is a personality trait of overweight people.  Not necessarily the making lists part but overthinking things, I know that I overthink everything.  Just wondering what your thoughts are on this.

Fighting the Temptation

Today is the first day that I've really felt that I'm having to fight the temptation to binge....well maybe not binge but go over my weight watcher points for the day.  My two youngest sons are going to their fathers and my oldest wants to go out to eat after they leave.  Part of me is saying well go and just get something healthy but where he wants to eat is an all you can eat place.  Even if I just eat a salad which I'm sure I could do it would still be full of eggs, cheese and salad dressing, thats way over my points. 

I just don't want this to start those thoughts again.  I won't lie, it did pass through my mind earlier that I could binge and purge just this once but I know better than that.  One time leads to another and another and another and I'm never doing that again.  Now that I think about it I need to add that to my list of resolutions for 2012.  I've never made it a whole year without binging and purging in the last 13 years I've been doing it.  This is my year and I'm not giving into this temptation, not today, not next week, not ever.

Resolutions 2012

I have a pretty long list of resolutions for 2012 but I'm hoping to accomplish alot of them.  This is a very big year for me because I'm making some major changes in my life.  Here are my resolutions:

1.  Get a divorce
2.  Graduate college
3.  Either find a job or an internship working with a photographer
4.  Get a better car
5.  Start saving money
6.  Catch up on all my scrapbooking projects
7.  Do some major cleaning and downsize on everything we don't need
8.  Keep blogging
9.  Find Mr Right for me
10.Cook more and eat out less
11. Make out a workout schedule and stick to it
12. And lastly lose as much weight as possible

I think that just about covers it.  At the end of this year I'm hoping to be able to look back on this list and say I accomplished everything on it.  So what are some of your resolutions for 2012?

Food Journal

I just thought I would post what a typical day of eating looks like for me.  Luckily right now I get 38 points a day on the Weight Watchers plan so I get to eat plenty of food.

Breakfast:  3/4 cup bran cereal-  3 points
                   1 banana-  0 points
                   1 cup skim milk-  2 points

Snack:  1 fiber one bar-  3 points

Lunch:  1 bowl vegetable soup-  10 points

Snack:  3/4 crave chocolate cereal-  3 points

Dinner:  2 homemade tacos-  11 points

Snack:  skinny cow ice cream sandwich-  4 points

Total points for the day:  36 points

I usually stay right under or right on my points.  I never use the extra 49 points a week that we get just because I don't feel like I need to yet.

Best Diets for Losing Weight in 2012

I just read this list on yahoo and thought I would share it here.  I'm presently doing Weight Watchers and it is the number one way to lose weight.

Here is the link to the article:

http://health.yahoo.net/articles/weight-loss/photos/best-diets-weight-loss-2012#0

I Believe in Myself

Do you believe in yourself?

Weigh In- Week 3

I had my third weigh in at Weight Watchers tonight and even though I didn't lose what I wanted to I did lose .2 lbs.  I've been eating within my points but I think I'm including to much sugar so that's what I'm going to work on this next week.  So my total weight loss up until now is 10.8 lbs.  My goal this next week is to hit my 5% lost which means I need to lose 3.2 lbs in a week.  Guess we'll see in a week if I can do it.  I will be updating my current weight and goals soon.