Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cinnamon toast milk and cereal bar
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- small salad w/ ranch dressing
            1/4 cup glazed carrots
            1/2 cup roasted green beans
            1/2 pinto beans
            1 slice salisbury steak
            1/2 cup crab salad
            1 piece of chocolate cake w/ vanilla ice
            cream, chocolate syrup and nuts
            1/2 cup cheesecake
            water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- 1 slice garlic bread
             water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 M&M cookie

Today wasn't a good eating day and I was very tempted to purge after I ate lunch.  While I was eating those same old thoughts were in my head on how I could just binge and then go home and get rid of it but when I got done eating I knew I couldn't do that.  I'm about 9 months out from my last purging episode and there is noway I want to start over with day 1 again.  I figured I could just make up for what I ate by skipping dinner. 

No exercise today because it has been raining all day.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cup bran cereal
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 2 blueberry pancakes w/ butter and syrup
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 banana

Dinner- 1 fish filet
             water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 peppermint patty

Eating wasn't good today but I'm trying to get back on track.

I took the day off from exercise.

Update Pics

Last time I posted my weight loss pics was when I had lost 20 lbs.  As of this morning I'm down 32.4 lbs so I thought it was time to post some new pics.  First pic is when I started my weight loss journey at 247 lbs and second pic was just taken just a few minutes ago and I weigh 214.6 lbs now.

I know there are some differences but I'm still disappointed in my progress, I'm just ready to not be fat anymore.



Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cup bran cereal
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 1 slice turkey
            1 cup stuffing
            1 cup mashed potatoes
            1/2 cup gravy
            1 slice cranberry sauce
            water (16.9 oz)

Thats all I will be eating today I just don't think I will feel like eating dinner.

I walked 3 miles in 42 minutes around my neigborhood for my exercise.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cajun chicken filet biscuit (Bojangles)
                 1 order fries (Bojangles)
                 12 oz diet pepsi

Lunch- salad w/ ranch dressing
            water (16 oz)

Todays eating wasn't so great but at least I ate more than yesterday.

My exercise for the day was hiking Chimney Rock which wasn't but about a 2 mile long trail but it was a workout.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 2 blueberry pancakes w/ butter
                 and syrup
                 8 oz chocolate milk

Short and sweet thats all I've had to eat.  Life has pretty much hit hard today and I'm just to depressed to eat.  There are things going on that are out of my control and I don't like not being in control.  I honestly just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep.  I did manage to walk/jog 1.4 miles today only because I thought it might help relieve some of what I'm going through.  Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.  I also weighed in this morning and I had lost 2.2 lbs for the week so at least thats a little good news.

Goals, Challenges and Weigh In Updates

I decided to keep all my challenges and goals together in one post to make it easier to track everything. I know it seems like I have taken on alot but its keeps me motivated and keeps me busy so I don't think about food so much. Updates are in red.


Weight loss goals (2 lbs a week):
November 30, 2010- 213 lbs (I weigh 216 lbs)
December 28, 2010- 205 lbs (42 lb loss for Christmas would make it a very merry Christmas)
January 25, 2011- 197 lbs
February 22, 2011- 189 lbs (under 200 for valentines how sweet that would be)
March 22, 2011- 181 lbs
April 19, 2011- 173 lbs
May 17, 2011- 165 lbs (it would be nice to celebrate our 5 year anniversary with me at this weight)
June 14, 2011- 157 lbs
July 12, 2011- 149 lbs ( 2 days before my birthday what a wonderful birthday present to myself)
August 9, 2011- 141 lbs (this would be the smallest I have ever been)

Recommended Daily Allowances:
(not really a challenge but something I need to keep an eye on)
Calories: 1760 to lose 2 lbs a week
Fat: 64 grams
Fiber: 25 grams
Carbohydrates: 300 grams
Sugar: 40 grams
Protein: 50 grams
Sodium: 2400 milligrams

Exercise:
I have challenged myself to walk a 160 miles by New Years. I am using the ticker on the right side of my blog to keep track of how far I have walked.
(I have walked 119 miles so far in this challenge.)

Hot 100 Challenge:
Steve from http://logmyloss.com/ is hosting the Hot 100 Challenge. The Hot 100 is a challenge focused on the last 100 days of 2010 beginning September 23, 2010. Here are my goals:
#1....This was my own personal challenge anyway so I'm adding it as my first goal here.....walk 160 miles by New Years.
(I have walked 119 miles so far.)
#2....Continue to eat healthy and exercise so I can lose 20 lbs by New Years. Beginning weight 235.4 lbs.
(I have lost 19.4 lbs so far.)
#3....Make it through the holiday season without falling back into old eating patterns.
(I made it through a Thanksgiving without overeating so I'm doing pretty good so far.)

Monthly Goals (11/1/10-11/31/10):
(my own personal goals)
1. Water- My goal has been to drink 128 oz of water a day but I still have not managed to accomplish this so that is my first goal I'm going to work on this month. (I have still yet to hit this goal)
2. Sugar- I have greatly reduced my sugar intake already but its still something I need to continue to work on. (The last week I ate way to much sugar, definitely got to work on this goal)
3. Fruits- I love fruits especially sweet fruits like bananas, apples and grapes but I have learned that fruits have alot of natural sugar in them so you do need to watch how much you eat so my goal this month is to continue to keep my fruit intake to a maximum of 1-2 servings per day. (I haven't been doing to good on this goal)
4. Vegetables- I have always been a vegetable eater but I have had to learn to replace some of my carbs like macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes with vegetables instead. I am learning to try new vegetables that I've never had before to add some variety into my eating and vegetables really are good for you and help to fill you up. So I plan on continuing to try at least one new vegetable and make sure I get my daily servings of veggies in. (Lately I haven't been eating as many veggies so I need to work on this)
5. Carbohydrates- This is probably one of my favorite types of foods, I mean who doesn't love macaroni and cheese and pasta dishes and breads but if you aren't careful these types of food can put alot of weight on you. So I plan on continuing to really watch my intake of carbs. (This last week I ate way to many carbs, time to get back on track)
6. Exercise- I have been doing really good at exercise but I am adding that as one of my goals so that I make sure I continue to get all of my exercise in. I am challenging myself to walk/jog 5-6 days a week and at least 15 miles a week. (This last week I only got in 13 miles)
7. Soda- I have mainly been drinking water but I have been sneaking in a couple diet sodas a week and I want to completely give up sodas this month. (I drank a couple diet sodas this last week)
8. Fast Food- I try to pick the healthiest thing when I get fast food but like a friend pointed out to me no fast food is healthy. I'm only picking out the least unhealthy thing on the menu so this is definitely something I need to give up. So my last goal is to completely avoid fast food this next month. (I have eaten to much fast food this last week)

I Refuse to Blow it Over the Holidays Challenge:
This challenge is being hosted by Erika at http://wwwfatlikeme.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html . Its just a personal challenge not to overeat during the holidays. You just keep track of how much weight you have lost from the first day of fall until after New Years. My beginning weight was 235.4 lbs.

(I have lost 19.4 lbs so far in this challenge.)

I know this seems like alot of goals and challenges but they all kind of fit together I just want to be able to update all of them on the same day to make it easier for me to remember.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cup bran cereal
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- 1 cup mashed potatoes
             1 cup stuffing
             1/4 cup gravy
             1 cup green beans
             1 slice turkey
             1 small slice pecan pie
             water (16.9 oz)

My eating was really good today considering it was Thanksgiving.  I didn't cook a Thanksgiving dinner and neither did my mom because she had to work so after she got off work we all went out to eat.  We went to an all you can eat buffet which was serving Thanksgiving dinner and as you can see from what I listed above I did really, really good at not overeating.  I don't know lately I haven't been that hungry and I've been staying super busy cleaning my house from top to bottom and rearranging every room.  I just don't have any urge to eat which I guess is a good thing as long as I don't starve myself.

I also didn't exercise today because I did walk 5 miles yesterday and I've been cleaning and moving furniture all day so I figure that burnt off some calories.  My weigh in day is tomorrow and I'm hoping for a really big loss.

I'm Thankful.....

Usually on Thanksgiving I'm focused on pigging out to the point of being in a turkey induced coma but this Thanksgiving is about more to me.  I try to be a positive person year around but alot of times even I start whining about the negatives in my life.  No my life isn't where I want it to be right now but at least I have the opportunity to change that.  I'm so thankful for being able to go back to school and make a better life for myself and my kids.  I'm thankful that I have 3 wonderful, happy, healthy sons who drive me crazy sometimes but I wouldn't trade them for anything.  I'm thankful that I have a family who is always there when I need help even after all of the mistakes I have made in life.  I'm thankful that I have a roof over my head, food in my belly and the freedom to enjoy life.  I'm also thankful for the finding this weight loss blogging community and making so many wonderful and supportive friends.  I would not have made it as far as I have if it wasn't for everyone that has been here to motivate and encourage me.  Lastly I'm thankful that I have finally found the strength to take control of my life and become a better person spiritually, mentally and physically.  We don't realize how lucky we are to be born into a country where we have the freedom to pursue anything we want in life.  But today is a day to give thanks and I'm definitely thankful for the life I have.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 2 cups bran cereal
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 banana

            water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- taco salad w/ crushed taco shells, meat,
             refried beans, cheese and sour cream
             water (16.9 oz)
             water (16.9 oz)

I didn't eat that much today because I stayed so busy cleaning that I just forgot to eat.

For my exercise I walked 5 miles in 68 minutes around my neighborhood.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 2 cups bran cereal
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 8 oz chocolate milk

Lunch- Grilled chicken sandwich (Wendy's)
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 small bowl fat free chocolate ice cream

Dinner- 1 bowl beef stroganoff
            water (16.9 oz)

I think I'm finally getting back on track with my eating and exercise.  Life is getting back to normal and I'm forming a new routine.  I've had to let go of a few things I can't change in my life to focus on the things that I can and it feels good to be able to be in control again.

I was really motivated to exercise today so I walked 2.1 miles in 30 minutes around my neighborhood, rode my bike 2 miles and did 100 crunches. 

Friday is my official weigh in day but I weighed today and the scale showed 216.6 lbs which is the lowest I have been so far.  I'm hoping by Friday I have lost even more.  I refuse to let Thanksgiving stand in my way of having a big loss this week.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cup bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 1 bowl spaghetti noodles w/ meat sauce
            water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- chicken salad on 2 slices whole wheat bread
             water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 small bowl fat free chocolate ice cream

Eating was good today but I took the day off from exercise.

A very productive day but what now?

I haven't been sleeping good this last week.  Last night I woke up at 2:30 and couldn't get back to sleep so I started working on some of my household chores I had to do.  I've already cleaned my house spotless from one end to the other which is a great thing but I don't have to be at school today so what do I do now?  Its weird when my husband was still living here I never stayed on top of things like this but now that he's gone I keep everything done.  I've never been so productive before so why don't I feel a sense of accomplishment?  Instead I sit around here moping because I don't have enough to do.  I never thought I would wish to have a job but it would be nice to have something to do everyday and bring in extra money on top of that.  I just can't wait until I finish up school so I can go to work.  I do have to exercise in alittle while and run a few errands so that should take up some of my time but its going to be a long day. 
Changing the subject yesterday I went bike riding with my kids.  Its been a very long time since I've been on a bike and its alot harder than I remember.  Well last night I kept having these pains in kind of a private area if you know what I mean, it felt like I was bruised or something.  I couldn't figure out what I had done to cause this but this morning it hit me it was from bike riding.  Will getting a different seat help this or does it just take sometime to get use to riding a bike?  I wanted to ride again today but I don't know how comfortable its going to be if I try.  I may just do it every other day.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cup bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- veggie burger, no mayo or cheese (Burger King)
            12 oz chocolate milk
            water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- 1 bowl of spaghetti noodles w/ meat sauce
            1 slice garlic bread
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 small bowl fat free chocolate ice cream

I'm really proud of how good I ate this weekend.  I can always make improvements but considering how I've been eating lately I did really well.

Today was a great day for exercise.  I ended up walking/jogging 2.1 miles in 27 minutes around my neighborhood.  Then I rode 2 miles on my bike and did 100 crunches.  I also took the kids to the park and there is a track there which is a mile long and we walked that once.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cup bran cereal
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1/4 cup mixed nuts

Lunch- tuna fish on 2 slices whole wheat bread
           water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 cup applesauce

Dinner- chicken salad on 2 slices whole wheat bread
             1/2 cup roasted yellow squash
             water (16.9 oz)

Eating was really good today especially since I have been up since 3:30 AM so its been a very long, boring day.

I walked 2.1 miles in 30 minutes around my neighborhood this morning at 7:30 AM.  It felt so good to be out in a coat and gloves when it was cold outside and get my exercise over with.

Healthy Changes?

I would like to know what kind of healthy changes you have made since starting your weight loss journey.  Here is a list of what I have changed.

1.   I walk 5-6 days a week for a total of 10-12 miles.
2.   I'm doing 100 crunches every other day.
3.   I've replaced soda with water.
4.   I'm trying my best to avoid fast food.
5.   I'm eating more veggies and fruits.
6.   I replaced regular cooking oil with olive oil.
7.   I eat a handful of nuts each day.\
8.   I'm taking a mulitivitamin.
9.   I'm taking vitamin D to help with the days I'm depressed and don't feel like doing anything.
10  I've reduced my serving sizes.
11. I drink skim milk instead of whole milk.
12. I'm working on building up my stamina to jog.
13. I eat whole wheat bread instead of white bread.
14. I bake, broil, roast or boil everything, no frying.

I'm sure there are more things but thats all I can think of right now.  I was just wondering what changes everyone else has made.  Maybe we can all learn a few tips from each other.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cup bran cereal
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 banana

Lunch- 3 slices turkey, 1 slice cheese and honey
            mustard on 2 slices whole wheat bread
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 cup lowfat yogurt

Dinner- 1/2 cup roasted broccoli
            1 cup roasted yellow squash and onions
            1/2 cup baked beans
            1/2 cup corn
            1 cup green beans
            5 oz roasted chicken
            1 deviled egg
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 fiber one bar

Eating was really good today, I really tried to make sure I didn't overeat or anything I wasn't suppose to.

I walked/jogged 2.1 miles in 25 minutes around my neighborhood earlier today.  I was so proud of myself because I timed my run and I ran .6 miles in 7 minutes which included 3 hills, thats the best I've done so far.

Losing my Fire

I got this wonderful comment from Shane G. at http://losingitforthefamily.blogspot.com/ and I thought I would share it with everyone.

"Christina, I can't help but notice you seem to have lost a little fire, and that is understandable considering your recent changes in life. I just worry about you. I would very much like to see you do something. Take this weekend, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, and focus on your diet and exercise to the point that it takes over your life. Get double workouts in, really focus on good eating, and see if being OCD on those aspects of your life may help you get through this rough time. I also would like to suggest that your walks be nothing less than a time for introspection. I love my Saturday morning 5 mile walks cause they typically help me sort through my junk. It is all I think about while I walk on Saturday morning is what is bothering me right now, how can I fix it, and what can I do nothing about. I either form plans or come to terms with all my junk on those days and it helps to get the "clutter" out once a week. Just a suggestion."

Shane is absolutely right I have lost some of my fire.  I'm not really sure why, maybe its my husband leaving or maybe its just having my routine turned upside down but I just can't seem to get back into my groove.  I'm still exercising and trying to eat right but I'm slipping alittle and I don't want that little to turn into alot.  I had already decided last night that I was getting back on tracking starting today and so far I'm doing really good.  I went out last night and got some ziploc bags so I could measure out my portions of bran cereal I eat in the morning.  It seems lately that my serving sizes are getting bigger and bigger and thats not going to help me lose weight.  I also made a workout schedule so I could hold myself accountable on days when I want to be lazy.  I went and bought some Vitamin D today in the hopes that it will help on the days where I'm just really depressed and don't want to do anything. A few days ago I made a trip to the library and got some books to read and this is really helping with my boredom in the evening.  I also pampered myself alittle last night with a long bath, facial and lotion.  I'm not giving up on my weight loss no matter what else is going on in my life because I have come to far to go back now. 

I just want to say thanks to Shane and everyone else who leaves me comments on my blog.  Your support and encouragement is what keeps me going.  I know if I didn't have this blog I would have given up along time ago but knowing that everyone is rooting for me and checking on my progress motivates me because I don't want to let any of you down.  I may be having a hard time focusing on my weight loss right now but I'm going to push through this road block and get back on course.  There is no better time then right now to start because I definitely don't want to gain any weight back.  Its just discouraging sometimes when you don't see the scale moving like you want it to but I have to remember its not just about the number on the scale.  I've already had to put away 4 pairs of pants that are to big for me now and I have some others that are almost there.  I see changes in my body and I need to remember those are the things I'm working hard for not just the number on the scale to go down.

I'm going to take your advice Shane and really focus on my eating and exercise this weekend and show myself what I'm made of.  I'm going to figure out what I can do to fix the things I can and let go of the things I can't.  I have plenty of time to take care of everyone else and I need to make sure I make time to take care of myself to.  I'm going to strive to make this next week the best I've had so far.  I need to be strong because with the holidays coming up this is already a tough time a year.  I can do this I know I can.

Goals, Challenges and Weigh In Updates

I decided to keep all my challenges and goals together in one post to make it easier to track everything. I know it seems like I have taken on alot but its keeps me motivated and keeps me busy so I don't think about food so much. Updates are in red.


Weight loss goals (2 lbs a week):
November 30, 2010- 213 lbs (I weigh 218.2 lbs)
December 28, 2010- 205 lbs (42 lb loss for Christmas would make it a very merry Christmas)
January 25, 2011- 197 lbs
February 22, 2011- 189 lbs (under 200 for valentines how sweet that would be)
March 22, 2011- 181 lbs
April 19, 2011- 173 lbs
May 17, 2011- 165 lbs (it would be nice to celebrate our 5 year anniversary with me at this weight)
June 14, 2011- 157 lbs
July 12, 2011- 149 lbs ( 2 days before my birthday what a wonderful birthday present to myself)
August 9, 2011- 141 lbs (this would be the smallest I have ever been)

Recommended Daily Allowances:
(not really a challenge but something I need to keep an eye on)
Calories: 1760 to lose 2 lbs a week
Fat: 64 grams
Fiber: 25 grams
Carbohydrates: 300 grams
Sugar: 40 grams
Protein: 50 grams
Sodium: 2400 milligrams

Exercise:
I have challenged myself to walk a 160 miles by New Years. I am using the ticker on the right side of my blog to keep track of how far I have walked.
(I have walked 106 miles so far in this challenge.)

Hot 100 Challenge:
Steve from http://logmyloss.com/ is hosting the Hot 100 Challenge. The Hot 100 is a challenge focused on the last 100 days of 2010 beginning September 23, 2010. Here are my goals:

#1....This was my own personal challenge anyway so I'm adding it as my first goal here.....walk 160 miles by New Years.
(I have walked 106 miles so far.)
#2....Continue to eat healthy and exercise so I can lose 20 lbs by New Years. Beginning weight 235.4 lbs.
(I have lost 17.2 lbs so far.)
#3....Make it through the holiday season without falling back into old eating patterns.
(I made it through a Halloween without overeating so I'm doing pretty good so far.)

Monthly Goals (11/1/10-11/31/10):
(my own personal goals)
1. Water- My goal has been to drink 128 oz of water a day but I still have not managed to accomplish this so that is my first goal I'm going to work on this month. (I have still yet to hit this goal)
2. Sugar- I have greatly reduced my sugar intake already but its still something I need to continue to work on. (The last week I ate way to much sugar, definitely got to work on this goal)
3. Fruits- I love fruits especially sweet fruits like bananas, apples and grapes but I have learned that fruits have alot of natural sugar in them so you do need to watch how much you eat so my goal this month is to continue to keep my fruit intake to a maximum of 1-2 servings per day. (I haven't been doing to good on this goal)
4. Vegetables- I have always been a vegetable eater but I have had to learn to replace some of my carbs like macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes with vegetables instead. I am learning to try new vegetables that I've never had before to add some variety into my eating and vegetables really are good for you and help to fill you up. So I plan on continuing to try at least one new vegetable and make sure I get my daily servings of veggies in. (Lately I haven't been eating as many veggies so I need to work on this)
5. Carbohydrates- This is probably one of my favorite types of foods, I mean who doesn't love macaroni and cheese and pasta dishes and breads but if you aren't careful these types of food can put alot of weight on you. So I plan on continuing to really watch my intake of carbs. (This last week I ate way to many carbs, time to get back on track)
6. Exercise- I have been doing really good at exercise but I am adding that as one of my goals so that I make sure I continue to get all of my exercise in. I am challenging myself to walk/jog 5-6 days a week and at least 15 miles a week. (This last week I only got in 10 miles)
7. Soda- I have mainly been drinking water but I have been sneaking in a couple diet sodas a week and I want to completely give up sodas this month. (I drank a couple diet sodas this last week)
8. Fast Food- I try to pick the healthiest thing when I get fast food but like a friend pointed out to me no fast food is healthy. I'm only picking out the least unhealthy thing on the menu so this is definitely something I need to give up. So my last goal is to completely avoid fast food this next month. (I have eaten to much fast food this last week)

I Refuse to Blow it Over the Holidays Challenge:
This challenge is being hosted by Erika at http://wwwfatlikeme.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html . Its just a personal challenge not to overeat during the holidays. You just keep track of how much weight you have lost from the first day of fall until after New Years. My beginning weight was 235.4 lbs.
(I have lost 17.2 lbs so far in this challenge.)

I know this seems like alot of goals and challenges but they all kind of fit together I just want to be able to update all of them on the same day to make it easier for me to remember.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 2 oatmeal raisin cookies

Lunch- 6 in veggie sub on whole wheat (Subway)
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1/4 cup mixed nuts

Dinner- 1 blueberry pancake w/ syrup
             water (16.9 oz)
Eating wasn't to bad today but I'm eating to many carbs and not enough veggies or fruit.

I walked 2 miles in 30 minutes around my neighborhood.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 1 small bowl chili
            3 slices turkey, 1 slice cheese and honey
            mustard on 2 slices whole wheat bread
            water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- 1 slice whole wheat bread topped with
             1 slice cheese, sloppy joe and slaw
             1/2 cup roasted yellow squash
             water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 6 lowfat devils food cookies

My eating was really great today.  I just focused on what I'm trying to accomplish when cravings hit.  I feel like I've been off track lately so I needed a good day to get me remotivated.

I walked 2.4 miles in 36 minutes around my neighborhood.

A big adjustment

Ever since my husband moved out I just can't stay busy enough.  I get bored so easy and boredom leads to eating.  My house is spotless, I have all my errands and phone calls caught up and I'm running out of things to do.  When my husband still lived here I seemed to stay busier I guess because I had another person to take care of.  Its just a big adjustment to get use to.  It feels really good to accomplish so much but now what? 
Especially on days like this when its rainy outside, I can't exercise, I can't take the kids anywhere so I'm stuck in the house bored out of my mind.  I try to watch tv but its just not interesting to me, I'm not really into web surfing so besides updating my blog theres nothing to do on here, and I spend time with the kids but they go to bed at 8 so that still leaves a long night ahead of me.  Any suggestions on things I can do to keep me busy?  It just seems like over this last week I've lost some of my willpower and motivation to lose weight and I don't want to start going backwards.  Its hard to get my mind in the right state when my life seems so unbalanced right now.  I don't like being alone, I don't like being single, I'm lonely but not ready to move forward.  In the middle of December I'm out of school for four weeks and I'm really worried about this because then I will have even less to do.  What am I going to do with all my time? 

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 banana
                 1 cup 2% milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 3 pieces chocolate

Lunch- 1 bowl chili
            water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- 1 cup roasted broccoli
             1/2 cup roasted squash
             1/2 cup corn
             1 cup green beans
             1 cup sweet potato w/ brown sugar
             water (16.9 oz)

Snack- small chocolate shake

Eating was pretty good today except for the candy I ate and the milkshake I just had which happened because of boredom.  I've got to get ahold on my life and figure out what I'm going to do with all my extra time.

I haven't exercised today because its been raining all day here.

How I improved my mood.

Today started off ok but as the day went on I got more and more depressed.  I've never been diagnosed with Seasonal affective disorder but I know how I feel on days like this.  When the sky is gloomy looking and there is rain in the forecast I'm just miserable.  I want and need my sunshine.  On my drive home from school I just felt like coming home and curling up in a ball and crying.  When I got home I layed around for alittle while, getting nothing done and then a friend suggested that I go for my walk.  I got ready and headed out and decided to see how much I've improved with my jogging.  The first lap was wonderful but I forgot to time how long I could run so on my second lap I timed myself.  Amazingly I could run 5 minutes straight and that was including one hill.  I have come so far and when I jog my energy level goes through the roof.  I only did 2 laps because I've been having a pain running down the side of my leg today so I didn't want to push myself to hard.  After I finished my walk/jog I got dinner started and cleaned my house, things I could have never done in the mood I was in.  Exercise truly can improve your mood.

For those of you that suffer with depression what do you do to change your mood?  I am on an antidepressant but I think I need to talk to my doctor about increasing the dose at least during the winter months.  I'm also going to talk to my doctor about light therapy because my mood changes so drastically based on the weather.  I just need to remember that when I'm feeling bad exercise can be a natural mood booster.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 banana
                 1 cup 2% milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 20 oz diet mt dew

Dinner- 1 bowl of taco chili w/ cheese and
             lite sour cream
             water (16.9 oz)

I just wasn't that hungry today.

I walked/jogged earlier, I did 1.5 miles in 16 minutes.  I also did 100 crunches on my exercise ball.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 cup oatmeal
                 1 tsp butter
                 2 tbsp brown sugar
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1/4 cup mixed nuts
            1 banana
            water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- 1 bowl cheeseburger hamburger helper w/
             lite sour cream and cheese
             water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 fiber one bar
            1 1/2 cups bran cereal
            1 banana
            1/2 cup 2% milk

At least I didn't eat out today or have any soda so its been a good day so far.  I'm trying to get back on track with my goals and its going well. 

I'm taking today off from exercise just because I want a day off.

It's Time

As most of you know last weekend my husband and myself decided it was best to seperate and life has been up in the air alittle bit since then.  I'm trying to continue with my exercise and eating right but I have noticed that I've eaten out alot this last week and thats just not going to do.  Now I do have to give myself credit for making the best choices I could under the circumstances but its time get back to normal around here.

Earlier my oldest son who I don't get much time to spend just one on one time with wanted to go eat chinese food which also happens to be an all you can eat buffet.  I absolutely love this particular restaurant and have avoided it like the plague because I just didn't think I had enough control to not overeat.  I tried to talk my son into picking somewheres else but thats really what he wanted so I went with a plan in my head.  I was going to stick to as many veggies as I could, avoid anything fried and skip the dessert.  Overall I did pretty good considering what choices I had but I did leave the restaurant feeling regret for going there.  For the first time in along time the thought of purging entered my head but I pushed it away.  I tried to tell myself the same old rationalization I use to use that it would only be this one time and then I would do better after this but I know better.  One time leads to a million and if I had done it then thats outright giving myself permission to overeat anytime I want because I have that as a backup plan and I refuse to fall back on old bad habits. 

I have spent this last week getting my house in order, schools going great, the kids well they are as mean as ever but that will take time and now its time to put my focus back on me and make sure I'm doing all I can to maximize my weight loss.  This morning I decided to issue myself a new challenge.  I want to be under 200 lbs by New Years.  That means I have 7 weeks to lose 19.1 lbs.  I know that goal seems alittle daunting but hey I like to push myself and if I fall short then I know I have done all I could to try to hit that goal. 

My other goal I am working on is to walk 160 miles between September 10, 2010 and January 1, 2011.  So far I've walked 100 miles so I only have 60 to go which should be no problem at all and I may even raise the closer I get to New Years.  Its such an amazing feeling to set goals and accomplish them even if its just small ones.  The confidence it builds in you really does help with your weight loss.

Now all I have to do is make it through the holidays without overeating.  I'm very confident I can do this.  I'm just going to take it one holiday at a time.  Thanksgiving will be here before we know it and then my oldest sons birthday is right before Christmas and then Christmas.  I don't plan on cooking any meals this year because we will be celebrating at my moms so that means no leftovers to worry about.  I just have to have the willpower to make it through those family meals without overdoing it. 

When I started on this journey I thought it would take forever to lose weight and it was coming off so slowly that I didn't really see any differences.  I'm noticing differences now, I have dropped from a size 20 to a size 16 and I actually got into a pair of bluejeans today that I haven't worn since over a year ago.  Just to see and feel my clothes getting looser is motivation in itself to keep going.  In only 3 months I have lost 28 lbs, thats amazing.  I'm sure I could have lost more if I was doing some extreme diet but I'm trying to learn a way of eating I can maintain for the rest of my life, one where I don't feel like I'm having to sacrifice everything.  No I don't eat perfect but what I'm doing is working.  Perfection has always been my downfall and I refuse to follow that path again. 

I still have things I need to work on such as my water intake.  I have been struggling with this for the last 3 months but today while I was eating I was drinking water out of a straw and it really did help.  I think I'm going to start using a straw and just drinking as much as I can at a time.  I can tell a difference in how my body functions and how I feel when I drink more water and I know it helps with weight loss so I really need to focus on this.  Second thing I need to work on is avoiding fast food again.  I was doing so good with this and then our seperation happened and I started slipping again.  I promised myself that I wasn't going to let anyone or anything stand in my way and I plan on keeping that promise.  Third thing is staying away from soda, even diet soda.  The other day I had a really bad eating day and I ate alot of sugar and drank quite a few glasses of diet soda with caffeine in it and the whole day my heart was doing flip flops in my chest.  This is a condition that I got from my mom and its nothing to worry about but just seeing what effect sugar and caffeine had on me was an eye opener.

I just need to stay focused, keep on plan and take it one day at a time.  Tomorrow things are returning to normal around here.  I will be cooking my meals so that I can eat as healthy as possible and I think I will challenge myself to walk as far as I can just to start this week off on a good note.  I think I need one really good day just to get back on track.  Who else is with me, lets make this the best week so far.

Food and Exercise Journal

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/2 cup 2% milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 1 grilled chicken wrap (McDonalds)
            6 oz coke
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 cereal bar

Dinner- Chinese food
            water (16.9 oz)

As you can see eating wasn't to good today.  It was a busy day so I went for easy and then my son wanted chinese for dinner and we never really get anytime to just do things together, just me and him so I said ok.  I did eat way better than I use to when I eat chinese but I know I had way to much sodium so I'm trying to drink as much water as possible to flush it out of me. 

I walked 2.6 miles in 33 minutes around my neighborhood.

I HATE Exercise

This post is going to be short and simple.  I know I have to exercise to lose weight and get healthy but sometimes I literally HATE walking.  Now don't get me wrong there are days where I feel like I could keep walking forever but today was not one of those days.  I would have rather went to the doctor an got a shot or went to the dentist an had a tooth pulled then walked today.  I may not have set any records or walked farther then I ever had but I made myself go do it.  I whined and complained the whole time but I made myself keep going.  Its days like today that make me proud of how far I have came because even when I want to be lazy and my old self is making excuses not to do anything I just suck it up and do it.  So when that little voice is telling you that you don't have to exercise just remember who is boss and why you are doing this.  If I can do this then I know all of you can, just keep pushing forward.

A New Year's Personal Challenge

The end of this year is coming up fast, with only 48 days left until the New Year I'm challenging myself to lose even more weight.  I'm currently participated in the Hot 100 Challenge hosted by Steve at  http://logmyloss.com/ .  One of my goals in this challenge is to lose 20 lbs between September 23, 2010 and January 1, 2011, at the present time I have lost 16.4 lbs of this goal.  My weigh in was yesterday and I weighed 219 lbs which means I'm only 19.1 lbs away from being in onederland.  I'm setting a new personal goal to be under 200 lbs by New Years.  I know this isn't going to be an easy task but who said everything had to be easy.  That gives me almost 7 weeks to accomplish this goal which means I have to lose about 2.8 to 2.9 lbs a week.  What a wonderful way to start off the New Year.

Food and Exercise Journal

I decided to test myself today, I'm not really sure why but I went to an all you can eat buffet.  My mom happens to work in the bakery at this restaurant so she took her break while I was there.  I honestly didn't eat that bad until it came time to get dessert and even with that I did alot better than I normally do.  I did see that I still don't have the willpower I thought I had and I will not be going back to an all you can eat buffet anytime soon.  Here is what I had to eat today.

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/2 cup 2% milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 1 piece broiled fish
            1/2 roasted chicken breast
            1 small slice salisbury steak
            1/2 cup glazed carrots
            1/2 cup corn
            1/2 cup green beans
            1/2 cup blackeyed peas
            1 small rice krispie treat
            1 small slice of chocolate cake w/ chocolate
             frosting topped w/ 1/2 cup vanilla ice cream
             and a squirt of chocolate syrup
             water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 cinnamon toast crunch cereal bar
            water (16.9 oz)

As you can see I didn't eat dinner because of what I had for lunch.  Was what I ate worth it to have to skip dinner, definitely not.  Not even the chocolate cake was worth it but I did it and time to move on. 

I did walk today but not as far as I wanted to.  I only did 1.4 miles in 19 minutes around my neighborhood.  Halfway through my second lap my stomach started feeling alittle queezy so I don't think I had completely recovered from the stomach virus like I thought I had.  I'm hoping to be able to walk farther tomorrow.

Now I'm laying here bored to death trying not to eat.  Two out of three of my kids aren't here this weekend so its just me and my oldest son.  He's playing his playstation 3 and I'm laying here counting the minutes until its bedtime.  Its weird being single again and very lonely.  I don't look forward to the first weekend I have all alone without any of my kids.  I guess I need to find some new hobbies to keep me busy.

My self worth isn't based on my weight.

Earlier I was thinking about how I wasn't ready to move forward with my life. How I wouldn't be until I could lose all my weight and finally learn to love myself.  Then it hit me, I do love myself.  I may not like what I weigh right now and I may not like what I see when I look in the mirror but its who I am for the moment. 

How much I weigh doesn't determine what kind of mother, sister, daughter or friend I am so why should it matter so much.  I know that overweight people are discriminated against and I know we are seen as fat and lazy but why should I care what people think about me.  A year from now they won't even know I'm the same person.  My self worth shouldn't be based on how much I weigh. 

I do love myself and I show myself love each and everyday.  I show myself love by being the best mother, sister, daugther and friend I can be.  I show myself love by going back to school to make a better life for myself and my kids.  I show myself love by eating right and exercising.  People may judge me for what they see on the outside right now and thats fine because you don't determine who I am, I do that.

I found this quote and I think it describes me perfectly.  "Our motive is not to prove our self-worth, but to live up to our possibilities".  I'm living up to my possibilities each and everyday, are you?

Goals, Challenges and Weigh In Updates

I decided to keep all my challenges and goals together in one post to make it easier to track everything. I know it seems like I have taken on alot but its keeps me motivated and keeps me busy so I don't think about food so much. Updates are in red.


Weight loss goals (2 lbs a week):
November 30, 2010- 213 lbs (I weigh 219 lbs)
December 28, 2010- 205 lbs (42 lb loss for Christmas would make it a very merry Christmas)
January 25, 2011- 197 lbs
February 22, 2011- 189 lbs (under 200 for valentines how sweet that would be)
March 22, 2011- 181 lbs
April 19, 2011- 173 lbs
May 17, 2011- 165 lbs (it would be nice to celebrate our 5 year anniversary with me at this weight)
June 14, 2011- 157 lbs
July 12, 2011- 149 lbs ( 2 days before my birthday what a wonderful birthday present to myself)
August 9, 2011- 141 lbs (this would be the smallest I have ever been)

Recommended Daily Allowances:
(not really a challenge but something I need to keep an eye on)
Calories: 1760 to lose 2 lbs a week
Fat: 64 grams
Fiber: 25 grams
Carbohydrates: 300 grams
Sugar: 40 grams
Protein: 50 grams
Sodium: 2400 milligrams

Exercise:

I have challenged myself to walk a 160 miles by New Years. I am using the ticker on the right side of my blog to keep track of how far I have walked.

(I have walked 96 miles so far in this challenge.)

Hot 100 Challenge:

Steve from http://logmyloss.com/  is hosting the Hot 100 Challenge. The Hot 100 is a challenge focused on the last 100 days of 2010 beginning September 23, 2010. Here are my goals:

#1....This was my own personal challenge anyway so I'm adding it as my first goal here.....walk 160 miles by New Years.
(I have walked 96 miles so far.)
#2....Continue to eat healthy and exercise so I can lose 20 lbs by New Years. Beginning weight 235.4 lbs.
(I have lost 16.4 lbs so far.)
#3....Make it through the holiday season without falling back into old eating patterns.
(I made it through a Halloween without overeating so I'm doing pretty good so far.)

Monthly Goals (11/1/10-11/31/10):
(my own personal goals)
1. Water- My goal has been to drink 128 oz of water a day but I still have not managed to accomplish this so that is my first goal I'm going to work on this month. (I have still yet to hit this goal)
2. Sugar- I have greatly reduced my sugar intake already but its still something I need to continue to work on. (I have improved on my sugar intake but I still think I can do better)
3. Fruits- I love fruits especially sweet fruits like bananas, apples and grapes but I have learned that fruits have alot of natural sugar in them so you do need to watch how much you eat so my goal this month is to continue to keep my fruit intake to a maximum of 1-2 servings per day. (I haven't been doing to good on this goal)
4. Vegetables- I have always been a vegetable eater but I have had to learn to replace some of my carbs like macaroni and cheese and mashed potatoes with vegetables instead. I am learning to try new vegetables that I've never had before to add some variety into my eating and vegetables really are good for you and help to fill you up. So I plan on continuing to try at least one new vegetable and make sure I get my daily servings of veggies in. (Lately I haven't been eating as many veggies so I need to work on this)
5. Carbohydrates- This is probably one of my favorite types of foods, I mean who doesn't love macaroni and cheese and pasta dishes and breads but if you aren't careful these types of food can put alot of weight on you. So I plan on continuing to really watch my intake of carbs. (I have greatly reduced my carb intake but I can always do better)
6. Exercise- I have been doing really good at exercise but I am adding that as one of my goals so that I make sure I continue to get all of my exercise in. I am challenging myself to walk/jog 5-6 days a week and at least 15 miles a week. (This last week I only got in 10.6 miles)
7. Soda- I have mainly been drinking water but I have been sneaking in a couple diet sodas a week and I want to completely give up sodas this month. (I drank to many diet sodas this last week)
8. Fast Food- I try to pick the healthiest thing when I get fast food but like a friend pointed out to me no fast food is healthy. I'm only picking out the least unhealthy thing on the menu so this is definitely something I need to give up. So my last goal is to completely avoid fast food this next month. (I have eaten to much fast food this last week)

I Refuse to Blow it Over the Holidays Challenge:
This challenge is being hosted by Erika at http://wwwfatlikeme.blogspot.com/2010_09_01_archive.html . Its just a personal challenge not to overeat during the holidays. You just keep track of how much weight you have lost from the first day of fall until after New Years. My beginning weight was 235.4 lbs.

(I have lost 16.4 lbs so far in this challenge.)

I know this seems like alot of goals and challenges but they all kind of fit together I just want to be able to update all of them on the same day to make it easier for me to remember.

I'm sick

Last night and today I have felt so bad and my eating really hasn't been good.  Yesterday I was really tired so I layed down and took a nap about 5 oclock.  I felt like I had been asleep forever when I woke up but it turned out to only be 8 at night.  When I got up to use the bathroom thats when it hit, I started throwing up.  I guess I had managed to get the same stomach virus my son had.  Luckily the vomiting didn't last long but I felt so sick all night long.  Right now my stomach just feels really bad and I don't feel like doing much.  It seems like I have been craving sugar because last night the only thing we had to drink in the house besides water was cherry koolaid so I had a couple glasses of that because I wanted something to sip on.  This morning for breakfast I had sugary cereal and then a couple of other sugar filled treats.  I'm not really hungry but what I have eaten wasn't the best choices I could have made.  I don't plan on exercising tonight because I just don't have the energy to.  Here is what I've eaten so far.

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups froot loops
                  1 cup skim milk

Snack- 1 peanut butter bar

Lunch- 12 oz soda

Snack- 1 peppermint patty
             12 oz diet soda

Dinner- grilled chicken sandwich
            12 oz diet soda

I just hope my other two kids don't get this stomach virus, it really sucks.

Food and Exercise Journal

Today was going pretty good until I got a call from my sons school saying he was sick.  I went and picked him up and he must have a stomach virus because he's been sleeping in between waking up long enough to throw up.  At least I got the house all cleaned and got dinner cooked.  I won't be walking tonight since I can't send the kids to my moms when they are sick.  I might just try doing some crunches and floor exercises.  My eating wasn't to bad today but I've really been craving eating today.  Here is what I had.

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 3 slices chicken breast, 1 slice of cheese and
            honey mustard on 2 slices whole wheat bread
            1 cup lowfat yogurt
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 2 peanut butter bars

Dinner- 1 bowl of chicken pie topped with dressing

            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 cup sugar-free fat-free vanilla pudding w/
            2 tbls fat free cool whip

Thats about all there is to tell for today, a pretty boring day.

A new me

Today has been a better day, I got alot done.  I cleaned my house, run errands and exercised earlier so I wouldn't have to worry about it getting dark on me.  My eating has also been good and it just feels nice to be in control.  I also pampered myself alittle today by getting my hair cut off and dyeing it black which I've never been before.  It will take some getting use to but I like it.  Here is a picture of what my hair looks like, sorry for the poor quality I took it with my webcam.

Here is what I ate today.

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal

                 1 cup skim milk

                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 2 slices chicken breast, 1 slice of cheese and

            honey mustard on 2 slices whole wheat bread
            1 cup grapes
            20 oz diet coke

            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 peppermint patty

Dinner- 1 slice spaghetti pie
             1 slice garlic bread

             water (16.9 oz)

For exercise I walked 3.2 miles in 45 minutes around my neighborhood. 

Sorry for such a short post, I'm just glad things seem to be getting back to normal around here.

Losing focus, emotional eating and recommitment

I feel like I'm losing my focus alittle bit.  I'm not eating bad or giving up my exercise but I don't feel like I'm putting as much energy into losing weight the right way.  I did eat out again today but I had a veggie sub from Subway so that wasn't that bad.  I also got an almond joy cappuchino which I was craving for some reason and I had one of those bad thoughts like "I deserve this because of what I'm going through".  How is consoling myself with food going to help?  I can't let these kinds of thoughts creep back in.  I would rather lose the weight and feel better because my body is healthier than splurge on food that I don't need just to get a temporary fix.  As for what I ate today its not that bad.

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- 6 inch veggie sub on whole wheat bread (Subway)
            12 oz almond joy cappuchino
            water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- 1 small slice lasagna
             1 piece garlic bread
             water (16.9 oz)

I do plan on walking in just alittle while and I hope its a great walk because I need one.

Update: I ended up only walking 2.3 miles in 29 minutes because it got dark on me, guess I'm going to have to start earlier from now on.  I did run the last .2 miles and I felt so great after I got done.  There is something about running that just invigorates you.  I think I'm going to start working harder on my running since my husband took his weight bench with him and now I have no way to do my strength training until I can afford to buy some equipment. 

I am recommitting myself to my weight loss as of right now because I have worked to hard and come to far to give up now.  I refuse to let food be my source of comfort, I need to learn healthy ways to deal with my emotions.  There is a quote I read last night I think its goes "You never know how strong you are until being strong is all you have left", well its my time to prove to myself just how strong I can be.  I've spent to many years pushing my feelings down with food, its time to start feeling again.  There is no amount of pain that can be as bad as being fat.  I'm not going to spend the rest of my life hating myself.  Maybe this is my time to learn to love myself and then maybe I can learn to appreciate someone else loving me.  I'm going to make everyday of the rest of my life count because we are only given one life and I've already wasted enough of mine.  I'm looking forward to the future because I'm done with the past.

Making the best of a bad situation

Today has been a pretty good day considering that my husband is no longer here.  I spent the whole day cleaning and trying to make things seem normal around here.  I spent time with the kids and mowed the yard.  Just took care of alot of things that I have been putting off forever.  My eating wasn't to good today but considering what has happened I still thinking I'm doing really good.  Normally something like this would throw everything in my life in a tailspin but I refuse to let that happen.  I have worked to hard to give up now.  I didn't exercise today but I don't feel bad for that because I have kept busy since I got up at 7:30.  I still have more cleaning to do before I go to sleep tonight but it will be nice to wake up in the morning to everything in its place.  The kids are doing ok and I let them call their stepdad today and talk to him.  I'm just ready to get on with my life and start a new chapter.  Thanks to everyone that has offered me their support it means so much to me.  Now for what I ate today.

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                  water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 2 cups fat free chocolate milk
            1 bite birthday cake

Dinner- 1 grilled chicken sandwich (Wendys)
             1 small chili (Wendys)
             water (16.9 oz)

So I guess my eating wasn't to bad but I have eaten out 3 days in a row so I need to stop that habit.  I also need to get back on track with my drinking water.  I'll do better tomorrow.

I didn't get a chance to take any pictures for my photo challenge that I started and since I've already failed to take a picture everyday for 365 days I'm stopping this challenge for now.  I may just start posting pictures as I take them just for fun instead of forcing myself to take a shot even where there is nothing interesting to take a picture of. 

I did have one positive thing happen today, I stepped on the scale this morning and it read 218.8 which is 3.4 lbs less than I was when I weighed Friday.  I guess you can always find something positive even in the darkest moments.

Emotional day

Todays post is going to be kind of short, it has been a really hard day.  This isn't something that I have shared with many people but things haven't been to good between my husband and myself pretty much since we met.  We dated for about a year before we moved in together and then after about 2 years of being together we split up only to get back together with the hope of working on our relationship.  Things really didn't get any better but we got married anyways in 2006, in February of 2009 we split up again.  We both went through seperate counseling for issues we were having and I believing like I always have that I can change the world thought that if I changed the behaviors that caused problems when we were together before that I could save our marriage.  March of 2010 we decided to give our marriage one last chance and things were better for awhile but we are just to different to make things work.  He is the quiet, stay at home, wanting peace kind of person and I'm the outgoing, want to experience life kind of person.  Last night we talked and we both decided we weren't happy and it was best for us to go our seperate ways.  He moved out today and even though I know its for the best its still hard.  I haven't really eaten much today because I'm not that hungry and kind of stressed but I am going to walk in a few minutes just to relieve some of the emotions I'm going through.

Breakfast- 2 packs instant oatmeal
                 1/4 cup chopped mixed nuts
                 water (16.9 oz)

Lunch- veggie burger, no mayo, no cheese (Burger King)
            small diet coke

I'm going to walk now.  There will be no picture of the day for my challenge, I think I deserve a pass for the day. 

What a wonderful day

I woke up this morning and got the kids off to school and then got myself ready to head to school for a few minutes.  On my way to school I stopped and took this picture which is my picture of the day for my photo challenge, today is day 12 out of 365.  Just click on the picture to enlarge.

After taking care of a few things at school I was driving home when I decided to take this picture.  You can see why I had such a wonderful day it was beautiful outside today.

My eating wasn't to bad today either.  Here is what I had.

Breakfast- 1 1/2 cups bran cereal
                 1 banana
                 1 cup skim milk
                 water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1/4 cup mixed nuts
            1 peppermint patty
            water (16.9 oz)

Dinner- 2 fresco ranchero chicken soft tacos (Taco Bell)
            water (16.9 oz)

Snack- 1 cup applesauce

I got my exercise in early today by walking 3.6 miles in 53 minutes around my neighborhood.

Now for a very special thank you.  I participated in a weight loss contest hosted by Stephanie at http://unveilingthediva.blogspot.com/.  I won the contest and the prize was two of her homemade candles, well I got them today.  Oh my god these things smell good enough to eat.  I got vanilla hazelnut coffee and cinnamon bun.  Its like sitting down and having a hot steaming cup of cappuchino and a warm cinnamon bun.  I may not be able to have this stuff in real life but at least I can now light these candles and enjoy the smell of them.  Thank you so much Stephanie I love the candles.