It's Time

As most of you know last weekend my husband and myself decided it was best to seperate and life has been up in the air alittle bit since then.  I'm trying to continue with my exercise and eating right but I have noticed that I've eaten out alot this last week and thats just not going to do.  Now I do have to give myself credit for making the best choices I could under the circumstances but its time get back to normal around here.

Earlier my oldest son who I don't get much time to spend just one on one time with wanted to go eat chinese food which also happens to be an all you can eat buffet.  I absolutely love this particular restaurant and have avoided it like the plague because I just didn't think I had enough control to not overeat.  I tried to talk my son into picking somewheres else but thats really what he wanted so I went with a plan in my head.  I was going to stick to as many veggies as I could, avoid anything fried and skip the dessert.  Overall I did pretty good considering what choices I had but I did leave the restaurant feeling regret for going there.  For the first time in along time the thought of purging entered my head but I pushed it away.  I tried to tell myself the same old rationalization I use to use that it would only be this one time and then I would do better after this but I know better.  One time leads to a million and if I had done it then thats outright giving myself permission to overeat anytime I want because I have that as a backup plan and I refuse to fall back on old bad habits. 

I have spent this last week getting my house in order, schools going great, the kids well they are as mean as ever but that will take time and now its time to put my focus back on me and make sure I'm doing all I can to maximize my weight loss.  This morning I decided to issue myself a new challenge.  I want to be under 200 lbs by New Years.  That means I have 7 weeks to lose 19.1 lbs.  I know that goal seems alittle daunting but hey I like to push myself and if I fall short then I know I have done all I could to try to hit that goal. 

My other goal I am working on is to walk 160 miles between September 10, 2010 and January 1, 2011.  So far I've walked 100 miles so I only have 60 to go which should be no problem at all and I may even raise the closer I get to New Years.  Its such an amazing feeling to set goals and accomplish them even if its just small ones.  The confidence it builds in you really does help with your weight loss.

Now all I have to do is make it through the holidays without overeating.  I'm very confident I can do this.  I'm just going to take it one holiday at a time.  Thanksgiving will be here before we know it and then my oldest sons birthday is right before Christmas and then Christmas.  I don't plan on cooking any meals this year because we will be celebrating at my moms so that means no leftovers to worry about.  I just have to have the willpower to make it through those family meals without overdoing it. 

When I started on this journey I thought it would take forever to lose weight and it was coming off so slowly that I didn't really see any differences.  I'm noticing differences now, I have dropped from a size 20 to a size 16 and I actually got into a pair of bluejeans today that I haven't worn since over a year ago.  Just to see and feel my clothes getting looser is motivation in itself to keep going.  In only 3 months I have lost 28 lbs, thats amazing.  I'm sure I could have lost more if I was doing some extreme diet but I'm trying to learn a way of eating I can maintain for the rest of my life, one where I don't feel like I'm having to sacrifice everything.  No I don't eat perfect but what I'm doing is working.  Perfection has always been my downfall and I refuse to follow that path again. 

I still have things I need to work on such as my water intake.  I have been struggling with this for the last 3 months but today while I was eating I was drinking water out of a straw and it really did help.  I think I'm going to start using a straw and just drinking as much as I can at a time.  I can tell a difference in how my body functions and how I feel when I drink more water and I know it helps with weight loss so I really need to focus on this.  Second thing I need to work on is avoiding fast food again.  I was doing so good with this and then our seperation happened and I started slipping again.  I promised myself that I wasn't going to let anyone or anything stand in my way and I plan on keeping that promise.  Third thing is staying away from soda, even diet soda.  The other day I had a really bad eating day and I ate alot of sugar and drank quite a few glasses of diet soda with caffeine in it and the whole day my heart was doing flip flops in my chest.  This is a condition that I got from my mom and its nothing to worry about but just seeing what effect sugar and caffeine had on me was an eye opener.

I just need to stay focused, keep on plan and take it one day at a time.  Tomorrow things are returning to normal around here.  I will be cooking my meals so that I can eat as healthy as possible and I think I will challenge myself to walk as far as I can just to start this week off on a good note.  I think I need one really good day just to get back on track.  Who else is with me, lets make this the best week so far.