Saturday, August 28, 2010

Patience

Patience is something I lack  I like to plan things out.....know exactly what to expect....not have any surprises.....when I want something I want it right now.  Well with weight loss you can plan all you want but that doesn't mean you are going to get what you expect, doesn't mean there won't be any surprises and you definitely aren't going to get it right now.  Weight loss is a very slow process and we have to learn patience.  If only we could lose weight as fast as we put it on.  I know I've only been eating healthy and exercising now for almost 3 weeks but it already seems like an eternity.  When I look in the mirror I see the same fat face and body I've always seen.  I want to look for the good qualities but honestly I have never been able to see any.  Even when I weighed 142 lbs when I looked in the mirror I seen the sagging skin, the stretch marks and my chicken wings which is what I called the flabby skin hanging from under my arms.  I did feel more confident when I was dressed but when I undressed all I could see was the damage I had done to my body and it disgusted me.  I know I will never wear a bikini, I'll never be a size 2 and I'll never look like a Victoria Secret model.  It just seems like after all the work to lose the weight I should finally be able to love who I am and feel like I'm good enough.  I know this is something I definitely have to work on; my perception of myself.  I'm making so many positive changes in my life and I do not want my low self esteem and lack of confidence to hold me back.  I'm finally going to prove to myself and everyone else that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to.  This year sort of feels like a rebirth for me, from starting school to losing weight.  I'm changing and growing and this is just the beginning.

4 comments:

  1. You already made the first steps and now it's all about making a new one each and every day and not giving up. Keep giving yourself compliments even when you don't believe them. I know you can do it, Christina. You are a beautiful, smart and strong woman. You'll make it happen. I just know you will. :)

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  2. I'm determined this time to make it happen and its kind of weird because most days it comes so easy. I feel like I'm accomplishing something everyday and getting rid of those bad habits. There is no food in this world that is worth being fat for. And the support I receive on here just gives me that extra incentive to keep going. You are going to make it happen to I know you will. Maybe we will both hit goal about the same time.

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  3. Hello!
    How are you feeling today? When I read your post I knew I had to leave a comment because like you, I have always been a fat girl, I didn't had alot of friends in school and most of the people there joked about my weight and how I looked. I know how hard it is to look at the mirror and see nothing more then your fat thigs and arms but belive me you need to start loving yourself and stop feeling bad about what you look like. When I was heavier I looked at the mirror and thinked: "oh Im always gonna be this fat so it doesn't matter if I eat a all cake!" I eat so punish me and belive me I wasn't happy. Look at yourself, I know you're pretty because everyone is pretty to someone and the first person that should love you is yourself. Don't be sad about your body when you look at the mirror, be happy that you have one! And try to think that the changes you're making are more visible from the inside, you're getting healthier! Start loving your body so your body starts loving you! ^^

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  4. Lisa you are so right I do need to start appreciating being healthy and start loving myself. It really is a process because a lifetime of hatred isn't erased overnight. I'm not expecting perfection this time when I lose weight I just want to be comfortable in my own skin, stretch marks and all. Welcome to my blog and good luck on your weight loss.

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