Saturday, August 28, 2010
Patience is something I lack I like to plan things out.....know exactly what to expect....not have any surprises.....when I want something I want it right now. Well with weight loss you can plan all you want but that doesn't mean you are going to get what you expect, doesn't mean there won't be any surprises and you definitely aren't going to get it right now. Weight loss is a very slow process and we have to learn patience. If only we could lose weight as fast as we put it on. I know I've only been eating healthy and exercising now for almost 3 weeks but it already seems like an eternity. When I look in the mirror I see the same fat face and body I've always seen. I want to look for the good qualities but honestly I have never been able to see any. Even when I weighed 142 lbs when I looked in the mirror I seen the sagging skin, the stretch marks and my chicken wings which is what I called the flabby skin hanging from under my arms. I did feel more confident when I was dressed but when I undressed all I could see was the damage I had done to my body and it disgusted me. I know I will never wear a bikini, I'll never be a size 2 and I'll never look like a Victoria Secret model. It just seems like after all the work to lose the weight I should finally be able to love who I am and feel like I'm good enough. I know this is something I definitely have to work on; my perception of myself. I'm making so many positive changes in my life and I do not want my low self esteem and lack of confidence to hold me back. I'm finally going to prove to myself and everyone else that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. This year sort of feels like a rebirth for me, from starting school to losing weight. I'm changing and growing and this is just the beginning.