Thursday, September 9, 2010

Whoa trigger!!!!

My question to you is what triggers a binge for you? 

Luckily since I've starting blogging my weight loss journey I haven't had a binge yet, thank God.  What I want to know is what triggers a binge for you?  Is it a certain emotion or a craving for a food you absolutely love, is it a lack of willpower or are you just trying to bury some deep dark feelings you don't want to surface?  I've probably experienced each one of these at one time or another.  For me food can be a punishment or a reward.

If I'm sad, depressed or mad then I turn to food to comfort me, to take away the bad feelings I don't want to feel.  If I'm happy then food can only add to that happiness right.....wrong.   If I've done something I'm proud of or I've really accomplished something then why not go out to eat to celebrate, I deserve a reward for my hardwork, but is it a reward....heck no.  What if I'm bored?  The first thought that pops into my head is what do I have in the kitchen to eat?  Why is it every emotion leads me right back to food?  I'm not a robot; I have freedom of choice, then why is it when it comes to food I don't or I can't make a better choice?  Its time I reprogram myself to respond to these emotions in a different way.  If I'm sad, depressed or mad then apparently someone mad me that way right?  I have started to think why give that person the satisfaction of winning twice by binging.  I'm stronger than that!!!   I don't need food to make me happy; I need to be healthier to be happy!!!!  Reward myself with food.....why would I do that when there are so many other things that can serve as a lasting reminder of my accomplishments.......clothes, jewelry, perfume....etc.  If I'm bored....why should I be bored I have this blog to keep me busy, I have hobbies, school and a family to take care of.  My emotions will no longer be the cause of me binging....I've taken my power back!!!

Cravings?  Lets see cookies, cakes, ice cream, chocolate, pizza, fast name it I pretty much crave it....oh lets not forget brownies and donuts.  As you can see I'm a fast food and sweetaholic.  Its very hard not to give into these cravings; everywhere you go food is right in your face.  Quick, inexpensive, fattening, greasy, calorie loaded goodness just calling our names.  The trick for me is to give into those temptations....yes thats right give in, but you have to do it sensibily.  If I want fast food I get the healthiest thing they have on the menu.  That doesn't mean ordering 5 grilled chicken sandwiches because they are better for you then eating a burger, you also have to watch portion size to.  I also stay away from anything that has been fried, I go for grilled, baked or broiled.  Now mind you I don't eat out all the time but when the day has been busy or I don't feel like cooking then I chose the healthiest fast food I can find.  As for sweets I also allow myself to have them on occassion, but I limit the size I buy and how much comes into the house.  If I'm craving chocolate then I usually get something like a single peppermint patty.  Or if my husband is eating something sweet then I will take a bite or two and thats it I stop.  I would never ever bring a whole cake or a half gallon of ice cream in the house at least at this point because I still don't have the control I need not to binge on it.  You have to find what works for you and stick to your guns.

Lack of willpower....that pretty much described the old me.  I committed and recommitted myself a million times over to losing weight but here I am 37 years old and 238.4 lbs.  I've asked myself so many times why is it so hard to lose weight if I want it so bad, all I have to do is stop eating like I do.  If only it was as easy as making your mind up to lose weight we would all be skinny.  My willpower has grown so much just since starting this blog.  Maybe its the accountability or the support I'm receiving but I feel more empowered and in control of my life and my eating then I ever have been.  For most of us and me included we let this long journey overwhelm us and it can if you focus on how long its going to take to get the weight off but for me I'm taking this journey one day at a time.  I get up in the morning and I have my routine that I go through each day...... breakfast, lunch and dinner around the same time.....go to school, clean the house, run errands, make phone calls, whatever it is I need to get done that day.  I try to keep my mind off food and keep it busy thinking about other things.  Food should not be the main focus of our day and then our lives come second.  I use to plan my day around my food; now I plan my food around my day.  Just slow down and enjoy the journey because when you get to your destination you want to remember where you came from so you never go back there again.

Burying my feelings.....what else is there to do with them, feel them?  Yes thats what we need to do and I know thats not easy.  I have spent many years completely blocking out any feelings I had.  I was just an empty shell just going through the motions but like I've told my husband so many times if you don't feel the bad feelings you can't feel the good ones either.  You can't pick and chose or at least I can't.  Now I let myself feel...if I need to cry then I cry.... if I need to laugh then I laugh.  You let the feelings out then you don't have to use food as a coping device to stuff those feelings down.  I know for many people there is abuse and other things that have led them to deal with their feelings in this way and for something that extreme you probably need counseling.  I'm not ashamed to say that I have been in counseling.  There are so many good things that can come out of letting go of the past and moving forward and giving yourself permission to live your life, emotions and all.  Don't let anything stand in your way of weight loss....just face your fears and conquer them then you can begin to live a healthy, happy, long life.


  1. My trigger foods are chips (perhaps it's the salt) and chocolate. I am doing pretty good with not craving pizza, chinese, etc. My biggest problem is what my mother brings home. I do the shopping but she works at Wal-Mart and brings home all the crap she sees. So of course my triggers are set off.

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