One of the hardest things I have had to overcome on this weight loss journey is learning how not to feed my emotions. I won't go into detail because it is a personal situation but lets just say right now I'm so angry I'm seeing red. When I'm feeling like this the old me wants to just pig out and make myself feel better....at least temporarily. The new me has a new philosophy....I'll be damned if I let the person who upset me like this win twice. This person would love nothing more then to see me stay fat and I refuse to give them that satisfaction.
It's so hard not to give into that voice thats telling me to eat a whole package of cookies or a gallon of ice cream or hit a couple fast food restaurants but I won't give in....not this time. I know what that leads to for me. First I binge and for alittle while I feel really good because the food makes the pain go away but then the guilt sets in. After the guilt comes the voice telling me I can fix what I've done wrong by purging. Its like an addiction and the pull is so strong but you aren't going to win this time. I am way stronger than I use to be and I'm going to be happy and healthy no matter what that takes.
I think my life is finally on the right path and along with the baggage of losing all this weight there is other baggage I need to take care of. Have you ever felt like there were things in your life holding you back from your true purpose? This journey to lose weight is about so much more then just the pounds. Its about healing on the inside as much as it is about the oustide. I've allowed so much damage to be done to me from emotional, to physical and even mental. Its time for me to take my life back and be who I was meant to be.
Yes. The damage on the inside is so much greater than what I did to the outside. And it is so much harder to fix that than diet/exercise at this point. I'm a binge eater too. When I hurt, I seek solace in food and don't stop until I can't feel anything.
ReplyDeleteI know how that feels Kimberly and thats something hard to overcome but we have to in order to be able to move on with our lives. I wish you the best of luck and know that you aren't the only one suffering with this, maybe we can all help each other.
ReplyDeleteHow true, we all have to learn to deal with varying emotions differently than we did in the past. My vice was getting angry or sad or lonely or overjoyed, having a glass of wine or two or three and then pigging out. I know now I have to turn on different switches in my brain when these emotions crop up. So far so good....
ReplyDeleteI most definitely know what you mean. I realized that I do it without thinking. I'll be bitching about work or upset about something and I'll be talking on the phone to someone or just walking around, angry and all of a sudden, BAM. There's food in my mouth. The other day, I realized it was happening with a pretzel stick and I literally spit out whatever was in my mouth and threw out the rest.
ReplyDeleteThe low number on the scale feels a lot better than the pretzel stick does in my tummy.
-Raych
http://losingwithraych.blogspot.com
You are so right losing weight is so much more than just about the weight.
ReplyDeleteWe have to learn to be kind to ourselves and that doesn't include eating when we are not hungry for food.
I have never regretted something I didn't eat!
I still haven't completely overcome the need to binge when I get angry or upset.. but reading posts like this are really helping me. Hearing about the thought process for other people is really helpful.
ReplyDeleteMind Over Fatter I'm glad you found the switches to deal with those times when your emotions are pushing you to eat.
ReplyDeleteRaych I had one of those moments this past week when I was really stressed while driving and I started eating a bag of nuts that I had brought with me to snack on. Halfway through the bag I realized that eating was actually calming me down, it was such an eyeopener to how much I have depended on food up until then.
Tami its definitely a different experience eating out of hunger instead of habit.
Blubeari I'm glad that you are learning something and you will get to a point where you can control the emotion eating to.
I was that person too. I have to admit, and I can only explain it has His grace has taken me over, I just don't have that problem anymore. I want to eat for pleasure sometimes but I don't do that either and now it is a matter of habit to not do that. I honestly wish this for everyone of us on this journey.
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