Sunday, October 24, 2010

What is different?

This morning started with my husband going out to pick up breakfast for the family.  He had asked me last night before we went to sleep if I wanted him to go get breakfast for everyone and I said that was fine but I didn't want anything.  Well this morning he started being a food pusher again asking me why I didn't want anything....did I think I was to good to eat food like that....that I had the rest of the day to work it off.  I said no I just wanted to eat the healthy breakfast that I had planned to eat and no it wasn't that I thought I was to good its just that eating that kind of food makes me feel bad.  If that wasn't enough to make me cave into eating everything in sight then my kids have been so out of control today.  Sometimes I think having 3 sons is going to drive me crazy.  I have tried every discipline method there is and nothing seems to work.  I know alot of you are parents what works for you?  I just get so tired to listening to all the whining and fighting. 

Between living with a food pusher and feeling like I'm living in a war zone I'm stressed to the max.  The reason I put the title "What is different?" is because thats what I'm wondering what is different this time? Before I started this weight loss journey a day like this would have had me eating everything I could get my hands on to sooth my stress.  Have I learned to deal with these situations?  Have I learned to face my emotions and not bury them with food?  Have a I got to a point where I just can't take being fat anymore?  Could it be the medicine I'm on?  Why do I want to know what is different?  Because I want to make sure I never lose the willpower, motivation, determination or just personal growth that is keeping me going.

I am going to lose the weight this time I have no doubt about that but when you change so drastically over such a short period of time you have to wonder if that change is permanent.  I guess only I can decide that though.  Maybe its the willpower that I gain from other people's negativity.  Maybe its my determination to change my life and make my familes life better.  Maybe its the motivation to be healthy and happy finally.  Or maybe its just my own personal growth to face my fears and overcome the things I have allowed to hold me back.  Whatever it is I'm thankful that I've finally found what it takes to succeed.


  1. Discipline is a problem around here too - though with Son having autism spectrum disorder - it's even more challenging.

    We try combining positive reinforcement (they are good, they get some small rewards - be it in time spent, video game playing, using the digital camera etc) along with punishment for misbehaviour (making them write lines or page long stories about why their choices were ill advised seem to be the most hated).

  2. Great post. My husband went out for breakfast for the family yesterday too. While he didnt push, just having it in front of me was a battle. But I won that battle and didnt eat it.

    As far as discipline...its tough. I have two little ones and they are total opposites. What works for one doesnt really work for the other. So I just try to get a good mix of positive reinforcement for the good behavior, and for the bad behavior...we take privileges away. We also use time out. Now, my girls are little so it might be different.

    And as for "whats different"....I did a post on this a while back and here is what I came up with. After about 30 or 40 lbs lost I finally got a taste of the new me. I could see and feel a new me. I got a taste of what it was like to be happier with me, to have a little more energy, and to enjoy shopping again. It made me realize that I never wanted to go back to the tired overweight wife and mother I was.


  3. I really hope your husband gets on board soon... its way easier when they are supportive and encouraging. The comment "are you too good to eat that kind of food" is about as negative as you can get.

  4. Jayne Doe I like the idea of making them write a paper about what they did wrong. I have done something like that before but just making them tell me what they did and apologize but maybe writing it will be even worse.

    Jennifer great job on winning the battle. Thanks for the ideas on punishment and I love your reasons for continuing your weight loss journey. Good luck and keep up the great work.

    Christina me to but even if he doesn't oh well I feed off of his negativity.

  5. I'm a really strict parent. I usually warn the kids once and then if the behavior doesn't stop, they lose privileges or have to have time out or whatever works best for that particular child. Sometimes I make my older boys do chores (like cleaning blinds). Often I send kids to run around the block. If they are fighting, I make them do something nice for each other and hug each other and say 2 nice things about the sibling they were fighting with. If they refuse to do it, they get to lay on their bed (no toys, books, etc) and then we try it again. You just have to be firm and no nonsense. Do not make empty threats. If the kids know you will not budge on something (a discipline), then they seem less likely to be naughty. I have 8 kids and they are sometimes really naughty, but they also know I mean business, so they seem better behaved than a lot of other kids I know. I have a son with Asperger's Syndrome (autism spectrum) and he makes like really interesting. I just have to be more strict with him than my other kids. But it works. (Most of the time!) ;-) Hang in there.

    Maybe your husband feels worried/threatened by your determination. Maybe he thinks he should make some changes, too, but doesn't want to and doesn't want to feel guilty about it. I would just be very loving to him and maybe have a gentle talk about how hard this is and you need/want his support. Remind him you are doing this for him and your kids, not just yourself.

    My husband likes me being healthier but he will make comments about "being realistic" and "don't be too drastic" etc. Sometimes it seems like it is his way of slowing me down. Food is a big part of our lives and we both love to eat. He doesn't like when my dieting affects that hobby/lifestyle, but he does like me being healthier. It's just a learning process I think when you make life changes.

    Hang in there. You are doing so awesome!!!

  6. Hi Wendy. I really like some of your ideas. It would absolutely kill my kids to have to be nice to each other and tell something nice about each other. Part of my problem is I do make alot of empty threats and not because I mean to but it just seems like I'm always having to get onto them about one thing or another and if I punished them for everything they did wrong they would be in trouble all the time. It really makes you feel like such a bad mom to have to punish your kids and it makes you feel like a bad mom when your kids act up. I don't ask much out of my kids and I take very good care of them so to be showed such little respect is really hard on me. Yea I wish my husband could get on board with my weight loss but I'm not sure if that will ever happen. I don't know if its his own insecurities or if hes just is use to me giving up by now. I will try to talk to him though and explain to him that this is not only for me but for our family, maybe that will make a difference. Thanks for your supportive comments they really mean alot to me. You are doing awesome to.